


Fear

by JayceCarter



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:19:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 37,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9917966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Nate is used to people being terrified of him and it's never bothered him before. However, when a new settler shows up, he finds himself wanting her to look at him with something else entirely.Sammy has lived a hard life and is on the run from Raiders when she arrives in Sanctuary for a fresh start. She's planned for everything, except the handsome and dangerous man who seems determined to draw her closer.Can Nate coax Sammy into seeing him as anything but a killer? Can Sammy trust Nate enough to tell him what she's running from? When Sammy's past comes back for her, will they be able to work together or will it kill them both?**Gifted to Dreadvhenan since I stole like 10 of her ideas for this**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dreadvhenan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreadvhenan/gifts).



 

Nate picked the dirt from beneath his nails with the tip of his knife.

 

“You could try to smile,” Nick said. “The new settlers are nervous enough as it is. They don’t need you glowering at them and playing with that knife.”

 

“I don’t smile. I’m offering them safety, not friendship.”

 

“I think you like scaring people.”

 

Yeah, he did. Being scary was easy, kept people away. He didn’t want to make friends, didn’t need friends. He needed ally’s, and you got ally’s with brute force and skill, not smiles. So the uncomfortable glances, the extra distance, he’d grown to enjoy it.

 

“How do the new settlers look?”

 

Nick blew out a lungful of smoke. “Nervous. Most of them came from spots raiders hit. Some of them are beat up, most of ‘em scared. I’d suggest you make yourself scarce for a day or two. Someone who looks like they kill people for fun isn’t gonna help. Last batch, we lost two the first night after they caught sight of you.”

 

Nate laughed, sliding his knife into its sheath. It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked to leave, wouldn’t be the last. He wasn’t the sort you allowed into good company. He was muscle and skill and death, and nothing much else.

 

Still, he had to admit, he liked Sanctuary. He’d built the place up from nothing, made it into what it was now. Each settler that walked in, the ones bruised and broken, they filled something in him. After all the shit he tore down, these settlements were the only thing he did that made things better. He’d never say that to Nick,  never tell anyone that he craved seeing those same settlers better, see them happy and safe.

 

He stood, sliding the strap for his assault rifle over his shoulder. “Sure. Let me gather some stuff and I’ll head to Red Rocket for a few days.”

 

“You need any company?”

 

“From you? Fuck no. I’ll consider it a vacation.”

 

“Charming.”

 

Nate took a step backward, off the porch, and tripped over something.

 

He caught a post with his arm, legs trying to get purchase. Whatever had tripped him kept scurrying as well, though, and he ended up tangled with it on the ground.

 

“Fucking hell,” he cursed as he lifted himself up on his arms to glare down at a girl he now had pinned beneath him.

 

#

 

Sammy swore her eyes would pop out of her head as she met the furious face of the man far larger than any man had a right to be. He laid on top of her, glaring.

 

“Who the fuck are you?”

 

She opened her mouth, but only an embarrassing squeak came out.

 

“Jesus, Nate, let her up. She’s going to have a heart attack.” A synth reached out and hauled the man off her. He then stuck his hand out to help her up. “Sorry, sweetheart. This is Nate, and he runs this place but his manners are lacking. It’s why we keep him on a short leash.”

 

Sammy ignored the offered hand and scrambled to her feet, then backed away to give her some distance. If she thought she could outrun them, she would have. She’d learned a long time ago you can’t outrun bullets.

 

“Hey there, it’s okay. Take it easy. My name is Nick Valentine. No one’s gonna hurt you here.” The synth stuck his hands up, but stayed away.

 

Sammy had no time to pay attention to him though, because she’d lived long enough to learn one very important lesson.

 

You pay attention to the biggest threat, and there was no bigger threat than the man named Nate.

 

He was huge, tall enough she had to look up, and covered in muscle. The damned man reminded her of a bear. That wasn’t even the worst part. His eyes made her shudder.

 

The man had done a lot of killing in his life, and it didn’t seem like it bothered him a bit. He wore armor with red painted across it, like he didn’t even bother with washing the blood off, like it happened so often he’d gotten tired of fixing it. That sort of thing sinks into a person, and Sammy could spot it. She'd seen it too many times in her life. 

 

Yeah, there was no question about who the threat was there.

 

Coming had been a big mistake. Sure, Sammy didn’t have much elsewhere, and she’d heard the message about Sanctuary, but any place run by that man was a disaster waiting to happen. He looked no better than the damned raiders she’d run from.

 

She backed away from them both without another word as she made her plan.

 

She’d leave after it got dark and find somewhere else.

 

#

 

Nate groaned as he turned over on the bed. Red Rocket was hardly a beacon of fine living, but it was quiet and private, and Nick had been right.

 

That girl’s eyes had bothered him.

 

She’s stared at him, ignoring Nick, like she knew Nate was the dangerous one. She’d scrambled away without another word, even though Nate knew fuck-all to say to her anyway.

 

He wasn’t good with people, or with kindness. He was good at killing and insults, that was about it.

 

The bed creaked as he gave up the good fight and got up. He dragged on a pair of pants and a shirt, leaving his armor behind. He didn’t need it, not there.

 

The night had a chill in it, not as cold as it got in December, but cold enough to lift goosebumps across his skin.

 

A twig snapped to his left, and Nate crouched down. Nothing, at first. Then the shadow of someone moved, and Nate crawled forward.

 

He grabbed the person, shoving them to the dirt while hitting the flashlight button on his pipboy.

 

It was the girl from Sanctuary.

 

And he was on top of her, again.

 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were doing this on purpose,” he said, cringing from the rasp in his voice.

 

She struggled, but he held her still, her small body no match for his size and strength.

 

“Calm down, there. I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

“Then let me go.”

 

He smiled at her voice. Fuck, a real smile. When was the last time he’d felt like smiling about anything?

 

“What are you doing here? Sanctuary is up that hill, there, in case you’re lost.”

 

“Sanctuary isn’t safe.”

 

“Safest place there is. Trust me, I armed it, I planned the defenses. Fuck-all is getting in there. What makes you think it isn’t safe?”

 

“You.”

 

Nate tried to hide the blow that delivered. Yeah, he deserved it. He hadn’t acted friendly, hadn’t made a reputation worth a damned other than as a cold-hearted bastard, so it shouldn’t surprise him when someone was scared of him.

 

“Well, why do you think I’m here and not there, hmm? I make little settlers like you nervous.” He lifted his body up and off hers, reluctant to do so, but a bit tired of the fear flashing across her face.

 

She rolled away from him and grabbed a pipe pistol tucked into her waistband. Her arm shook as she held it, but he knew she’d never fire. Not that girl. He could read her a mile away. He doubted she'd killed anyone before, and he hadn't given her good enough reason to. She wasn't like him.

 

“I already told you, I’m not gonna hurt you. It’s cold, why don’t you come and sit by the fire?” God, he wanted her to stay. He wanted that voice of hers to lull him to sleep, to wrap himself up in it. He wanted to draw a laugh out of her, a smile, anything but that cold wariness. 

 

“I don’t trust you.”

 

“Good girl. Don’t trust anyone out here, it’ll keep you alive longer. Look, I’m not gonna do shit, okay? Ask anyone in that settlement and they’ll tell you I’m ruthless but I’m fair. It’s a good place to live. You won’t find better, trust me, I’d know. I’ve been all across the Commonwealth and it doesn’t get better.” 

 

The girl backed away, but kept the gun out.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“None of your business.”

 

He laughed, folding his arms across his chest. “Alright. Well, none of your business, if you won’t stay here, run on home. There are things out here a lot worse than I am.”

 

She tucked the pistol back into the waist of her pants and continued backing away toward Sanctuary. “I doubt that.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Can I talk to you?” Sammy kept a good distance between her and Nick. He’d been around, helping out, talking to people. She pegged him as the friendly face of Sanctuary, but that didn't mean she trusted him. 

 

“Sure, Doll. What’s going on? You need something?”

 

“I was just wondering about that man who was here yesterday.”

 

He flicked ash to the dirt. “Who? Nate? What did you want to know about him?”

 

“Is he dangerous?”

 

“I knew I should have gotten him out of sight before you guys got here. It’s better for you all to get comfortable here first before meeting the boss, because he could scare off a Deathclaw with a glare if he wanted. Don’t worry about him. What’s your name?”

 

“Sammy.”

 

He nodded. “Sammy, yeah. Preston mentioned you. Bad business with the raiders. Sorry to hear about your parents.”

 

Sammy broke the eye contact, not wanting him to read anything in her face. She struck her as the type who read people with ease, and she didn’t need him knowing she’d lied. “Thanks. But, about Nate.”

 

“Just keep your distance and you’ll be fine. He’s rough, sure, but he’s fair. You see every turret here? He built ‘em all. He planted every crop, dug every water pump. The man built this place from nothing. He’s not one for good company, but he’d be the first to charge into a group of raiders to keep this place safe. I know having a Yao Guai prowling around doesn’t seem like a good idea, but just give this place a try. I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly it can become home.”

 

Sammy shuffled her feet against the dirt. “Okay. Thank you.”

 

“Anytime. I’m here, too, if you need to talk.”

 

Sammy walked back to her room, a tiny place on the upper floor of the furthest shack. It was more than she’d had before, and it was all hers.

 

Something caught her gaze on the mattress, something black sticking out from under the pillow.

 

A full modded assault rifle and two boxes of ammo, with a note.

 

 

_“Hey, None of your Business. If you’re going to go wandering around at night, at least take something that will do a bit more damage. -Nate”_

 

 

#

 

“Why did you give me this?” The girl edged into the circle of light from the fire, holding up his present.

 

“That pea shooter you were carrying wouldn’t hurt a mole rat. Figured you needed something better since you were going to ignore me and keep wandering around at night.”

 

“This thing had to cost a fortune. I can’t accept it.”

 

He frowned. It hadn’t cost that much, and he’d done most of the mods himself. Besides, money wasn’t exactly a problem for him. “Why not?”

 

“Because you’re not the sort of man I want to have to owe anything to.”

 

Ouch.

 

“I give stuff to settlers all the time.” What a lie. “It’s not a big deal. I just figured you weren’t going to listen and stay put, and I’d feel better knowing you were at least properly armed.”

 

“Look, I can’t even shoot it, okay? I don’t know how.”

 

“You’re what? 27?”

 

“25,” she admitted.

 

Fuck, 25? He shook his head. She was way too young for the sorts of thoughts she brought out in him, like fifteen years younger than he was. Hell, she was almost the same age as when he woke up in this damned place.

 

“How have you lived this long without knowing how to shoot?”

 

“I have gotten along just fine, thank you very much.” Her back went stiff, and he grinned at her show of annoyance.

 

“Take the fucking gun, okay? If you don’t, I’ll just keep leaving it there and you’ll have to put up with me longer.”

 

The drop in her shoulders said he’d won.

 

“You want me to teach you how to shoot it?”

 

She stared down at the gun, eyebrows pulled together.

 

“Come on. It won’t do you much good if you can’t use it.”

 

“Alright,” she agreed. “But I still don’t trust you.”

 

“That just means you’re smart.”

 

#

 

Sammy tried to keep the trembling to a minimum as Nate’s body pressed up against hers. His arms mirrored hers, set on the weapon, showing her how to hold it, how to aim it.

 

His body radiated heat, and what scared her the most was how she wanted to lean back against him.

 

“So you look down the sights to aim, then pull the trigger. Just be careful, it has a kick.”

 

His finger pressed over hers, and the gun jerked back into her shoulder. Still, he held her, even when she tried to let go out of instinct.

 

He chuckled and pulled away. “Good job. I want you to practice with that thing, every day. North of Sanctuary is an old base with a huge piece of metal on the ground. Should be clear enough to set up some targets.”

 

“I don’t want to waste bullets.”

 

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve got more than you can imagine.”

 

“Why are you being nice to me?”

 

He stuck his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I just don’t want to see you get slaughtered. What’s a gun and some bullets mean to me?”

 

But Sammy knew there was more to it than that. There was always more. “No one does anything for free. What are you expecting from me?”

 

“Nothing. I’m not gonna come looking to collect, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not the sort of man who barters for sex.”

 

Her cheeks heated and she looked away, trying to hide the reaction. Yeah, that’s exactly what she thought, and the worst part about it was that she wasn’t totally against that idea. “I didn’t say that. I’ve just found out that people don’t help each other, and I don’t like owing anyone anything.”

 

Nate seemed to make a show of sighing. “Fine. You want to pay for it? Bring me dinner every night. You can make the trip safely now, and God knows I make shit for food. Mama Murphy can cook, so bring me a plate of whatever she makes for a week or two. What do you say?”

 

Sammy considered that, seeing him every single night, and wanted to turn down the offer. Hell, she couldn't be trusted with him for a few minutes. Before she knew what she was doing, she nodded. “Okay.”

 

He smiled, stiff, like he wasn’t used to it. “One more thing.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Your name. I think I’ve earned it.”

 

“Sammy.”

 

“Goodnight, Sammy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sammy arrived the next evening, plate in hand, and Nate couldn’t help but smile. He’d expected her to chicken out. She’d keep her end of the bargain, and get him the food, but he figured he’d see Nick strolling down the road.

 

“None for you?”

 

She handed him the plate. “I’m not hungry.”

 

Neither was he. Hell, he didn’t even care for Mama Murphy’s cooking, but he’d known he could get Sammy there with this deal. He set it down on the table and then nodded at a spot beside the fire. “Want to sit with me a while?”

 

“Why?”

 

He shrugged. “I don’t get much company.”

 

“Why stay out here then? There’s plenty of company in Sanctuary.”

 

“We already went over this. I make the new settlers nervous.”

 

Sammy sat by the fire, but not in the spot he’d indicated, beside him. She sat further away. “Were you really the person who destroyed the Institute?”

 

He stretched his legs out and leaned back on his hands. “Yeah. Blew them to Hell. And before you ask, no, I’m not sorry about it. That’s old history now, though. That was eight years ago. Tell me about you.”

 

She folded her legs beneath her. “Nothing much to tell. I lived on a farm with my parents until some raiders came. Then I ended up here.”

 

There was more to the story. She wasn’t lying, but she wasn’t telling him everything. He’d gotten good at reading people, a little present from his time traveling around with Deacon. He let her have her secrets, though.

 

“What do you think of Sanctuary?”

 

“It’s busy, but organized. Preston seems to keep everything moving in the same direction.” She fidgeted, then risked a glance at Nate. “Why did you build it?”

 

“Who told you I did?”

 

“Nick.”

 

“Nick is a gossip. Yeah, I built the place. I lived there, a long time ago, and I wanted it to be something good again. Truth is, after The Institute, there wasn’t a lot for me to do. Figured why not give back a little.”

 

“So why do you scare people?”

 

“That’s just a gift, I guess. Are you scared of me?”

 

“I think everyone is scared of you.”

 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

 

Sammy held his gaze. “Yeah, I am.”

 

He sighed, not surprised. It wasn’t as if her distance and tension hadn’t already told him that much.

 

“Alright. Well, thanks for the food. Head on back, okay? Don’t want you wandering about too late.”

 

She stood up, hesitated by the fire, as if she didn’t want to go, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to stay either. Finally, she nodded. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

#

 

Sammy walked slowly, reluctant to go back. The truth was, even with how imposing Nate was, she hadn’t wanted to leave. It was something in his company, in the way he relaxed, that she wanted to keep.

 

But staying there was a bad idea. Beyond her own personal struggle between wanting him and wanting to get the hell away from him, she didn’t need him digging any further into her past. What would he do if he found out her secrets?

 

Would he turn her over to them?

 

She didn’t know him well, and while he didn’t seem like the sort to do that, she’d learned people did what was best for them. So she needed to keep him at a distance.

 

She couldn’t let anything compromise her plan. Sanctuary was her first real chance at a life, at safety, and she couldn’t let Nate get in the way of that, couldn’t let him risk that.

 

A sound behind her caught her attention.

 

“I can walk back by myself just fine,” she called, a smile on her face that Nate would follow her.

 

“Little girls shouldn’t wander around alone,” came a voice that did not belong to Nate.

 

She turned to find a man in basic leather armor. She didn’t recognize him.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“A friend.”

 

“I doubt that, since I don’t know you and my friends don’t sneak up on me at night.”

 

He laughed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Jaymes has been looking for you.”

 

She took a step backward, trying to keep her face passive. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

 

“You’re prettier than he led me to believe. Smarter, too, since you manage to get your ass all the way up here. Not too many could make that trip in one piece. Not that it’ll help you any. Running as far as you want, he ain’t going to give you up.”

 

"You don't have to do this. You can just pretend you didn't find me."

 

"Why would I do that? He's paying a hell of a lot of caps to whoever can locate you. At first, I figured he wanted to fuck you, but that ain't it, is it? I mean, he never even said you were a looker. He ain't interested in you at all like that. So, I have to wonder, why does he want you? What do you have that he needs so bad he's willing to let go of so many caps?" 

 

"It doesn't matter. I've escaped others he sent, I'll ditch you, too."

 

"Maybe, maybe not. Guess we'll see."

 

“I’ll scream. That town is full of people with guns, and you're no match for all of them." 

 

“Don’t bother. I ain’t touching you, not tonight. Too close to the town, and I was just planning on some recon. Saw you walking around on your own so figured I'd say hi, make sure I was right about who you were. So enjoy your last little bit of freedom, because Jaymes will have you back, and he’ll slaughter anyone who gets in his way.” He winked before he turned around. “Sleep well, Sammy.”

 

#

 

Sammy woke up, the sweat from her nightmare having chilled from the evening air. Her chest ached as she tried to control her breathing.

 

She hadn’t had a nightmare like that in a while. Hadn’t allowed herself to think back on what had happened, at her feelings of helplessness. Her years with Jaymes had been hell, and she tried to think about them as little as possible. Now, though, with him and his people breathing down her neck, she lacked that luxury. What was she going to do?  

 

The whir of the turrets reassured her, but she couldn’t settle again. Couldn’t relax. Every creak, every shuffle outside had her panic returning. Each one was a person trying to grab her in the middle of the night.

 

Even if the man had said she had time, she didn’t believe him. For all she knew Jaymes could be close by, could be ready to run into town, could have just said that to keep her guard down.

 

There was only one place where Sammy would feel safe, at least from Jaymes.

 

The best defense against a predator was an even bigger predator.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

A soft knock on the door woke Nate. He wrapped his fingers around his pistol and opened the door.

 

Sammy stood on the doorstep, jacket wrapped around her, dark circles under her eyes. Hell, had she been crying?

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

She flinched at the roughness of his voice, so he tried to gentle it.

 

“It’s late. Is everything okay?”

 

She stared down at her hands, refusing to look him in the eye. “I was wondering if I could sleep here?”

 

“Someone bothering you?”

 

“Nothing like that.” The lie slid from her lips. “I just, I can’t sleep. Sanctuary doesn’t feel. . . safe.”

 

He tilted her face up to his with a finger beneath her chin. “And here feels safe? With me?”

 

“In Sanctuary I have to be afraid of everything. Here, I only have to be afraid of you.”

 

He laughed at her logic and held the door open for her. “Come on in, then.”

 

She’d never been into the living space of The Red Rocket. She toed through the place, steps soft, like she wasn’t sure it was a great idea.

 

Not that he could blame her. Tension ran through her shoulders like a living thing, like she wanted to run. Again, he wished his reputation was better.

 

“I’ll take the couch. You can have my bed.”

 

“Will you sleep with me? Please?”

 

And if that didn’t send all his blood straight to his cock. “Probably not a good idea.”

 

“Why not?”

 

She couldn’t really be that fucking naive. There was no way she didn’t know how she affected him. He'd caught her looking at him, too, a sidelong glance that was full of curiosity and the start of lust. She wasn't ready, but she was interested. 

 

“Look, you already said you were afraid of me. Why would you want to go crawling into bed with me, huh?”

 

“Because I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m a coward, I know it. I just, I need some sleep, and every noise I hear, I’m afraid of. I’m not afraid of anything else when you’re close by.”

 

Nate nodded toward the room. “Go get ready. I’m gonna check the defenses before I turn in, too.”

 

She walked into his room, and he took the time to try and calm down. She didn’t need to learn exactly what he wanted from her, because that would send her running.

 

#

 

Sammy had the blanket pulled up to her neck, body slid all the way over against the wall. Nate had taken fifteen minutes outside, and she’d tried to reign in her panic during that time.

 

He was right. Crawling into bed with him was a terrible idea. She knew the attraction between them, and there wasn’t much to expect if they slept side by side.

 

The door groaned as Nate closed it. “Defenses are all set. We’re plenty safe here.” He reached for his shirt and pulled it off. Sammy gasped at the sight, at the huge expanse of his chest, the hair that covered it.

 

He was even larger without that cloth, without the civilizing effect of the garment. He ignored her reaction, and simply shucked his pants. He left his underwear on as he crawled into the bed.

 

The mattress dipped, and she rolled toward him from the change. As soon as she pressed against his warm skin, she scrambled back against the wall.

 

“Why tonight?”

 

She frowned. “What?”

 

He rolled on his side to face her, head resting on his folded arm. “You’ve been sleeping in Sanctuary for a few weeks, and you’ve never showed up here before. Why tonight?”

 

Sammy mirrored his position, facing him. “I had a nightmare.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Raiders.” She shuddered at the memory of Jaymes face, the way he’d gripped her throat, the strength in his arms.

 

He set a hand on her arm. “It’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get you here. “

 

Sammy smiled and rolled over, facing the wall, to give them more space. “Thank you, Nate.”

 

Nate’s arm wrapped around her, and she went still. She forgot at times just how big he was, but it was hard to ignore when she felt that weight around her. He didn’t do anything else, though. Didn’t grope at her, didn’t try to undress her. He just laid behind her.

 

Sammy relaxed, and even shifted back an inch, seeking his warmth to keep the chill away, to ward off the nightmares.

 

And she backed right into his erection.

 

She went to pull away but Nate tightened his arm around her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m not gonna do anything.”

 

“But you’re. . .”

 

“Hard? Yeah. I’ve got a beautiful girl up against me, that’s basic biology. I’m not gonna jump on you, though.”

 

She swallowed, a loud gulp that drew a chuckled from him. “I’m scared,” she admitted.

 

“No, you’re not.” He nipped at her ear. “You want to leave, I’ll walk you back to Sanctuary myself. But do it because you want to leave, not because you’ve decided you’re afraid when you’ve got no reason to be. Nothing to be scared of from a little erection.”

 

“Little?” She huffed.

 

“You say the nicest things.” He wrapped his arm tighter around her, like he was afraid she’d slip away. “You know, I like having you here.”

 

“Nick said you didn’t like company.”

 

“I don’t. Not normally. You’re different. Damned if I know why. Now close your eyes, Sammy. You need some sleep.”

 

She took a deep breath and followed his order.

 

And damn her if she didn’t fall into the deepest sleep she’d had in ages.


	5. Chapter 5

Nate woke as Sammy slipped out of the bed. He stayed still, giving her time to rise, to gather herself. He missed her warmth, but he didn’t want to crowd her.

 

He expected her to leave, to run off to Sanctuary. She’d braved an entire night in his bed, in his arms. The girl’s bravery could only last so long. Instead, the sound of pans from the stove echoed in.

 

She was cooking breakfast.

 

He smiled as he sat up and got dressed. The last time he had someone in his personal space, cooking breakfast, was with Nora.

 

Fuck. Nora.

 

Nate scrubbed his hands along his scalp. He didn’t want to think about her. He shoved it away and walked into the garage where Sammy stirred something in a pot.

 

“Morning,” he said, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

 

She blushed, flustered. He never thought he’d like that, the shy way she moved. His life had been dominated by women who kicked ass, by Dez, and Cait, and Piper, and Glory, he never expected to find so much pleasure in someone so soft. “Morning,” she finally said.

 

“Did you sleep better last night?”

 

“I did. Thank you.” She platted some scrambled mirelurk eggs and handed it to him. “I won’t impose again, though.”

 

He captured her hand before she pulled away. “Fuck that. Sleep here every damned night if you want. I loved having you in my bed.”

 

She stared at where he held her, her lip darting out to lick her lips. He groaned and pulled her forward, just enough to brush a kiss against her lips before he let her go.

 

He looked at his food, giving her privacy as she scurried away, going about cleaning up the items from breakfast as if she couldn’t think.

 

Fuck, she was sweet. He wanted to hold her for a hell of a lot more than a kiss, but he had to go slow. She was the sort to get spooked.

 

When she spoke, her voice had a breathy quality he smiled at. “I’ve got to get going. I don’t have a lot of skills, so I told Preston I could keep an eye on Duncan today, that way MacCready could take a few people out shooting.”

 

“Will you come back tonight?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Good. Can’t wait to get you in my bed again.”

 

 

#

 

As it turned out, watching Duncan was harder than rounding up bloodbugs. He was his father’s child, from what she’d seen. Snarky, unwilling to listen, and completely sure of his own greatness. No wonder no one else was willing to do the job.

 

Duncan ran off into the tree line, and Sammy gave chase. She didn’t want him too far away from Sanctuary, but the kid had grown restless. A game of tag that had started in the streets spread further and further from town.

 

“Duncan! Not so far!” Sammy called after him but he didn’t listen, charging past the stream, past the last line of defenses.

 

Across from him, a group of raiders pointed toward the settlement. They caught sight and gave chase, but Duncan had no idea and darted behind a grouping of rocks.

 

Sammy caught him, pulling him behind some brush before the raiders caught sight of them again.

 

 “Where the fuck did they go?”

 

“Probably ran off. You know how those settlers are, fucking easy picking but they run like bitches.”

 

Duncan began to cry, and Sammy tried to shush him, running her free hand over his hair to comfort him.

 

“What was that?”

 

No time for a better plan.

 

Sammy leaned in and whispered into Duncan’s ear. “Run for Sanctuary, okay? I’m going to distract them.”

 

He shook his head, gripping her arm.

 

“It’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen to me, and you run faster and they’re less likely to see you. I’ll be fine. Stay here and as soon as I run, you take off for home. Do you understand?”

 

He nodded, and she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

Sammy gathered her courage and stood, placing herself in front of Duncan. She skirted to the left, away from Sanctuary, away from Duncan and the path he’d need to take. Once she had moved far enough away, she stomped on a branch.

 

The raiders spotted her. “Freeze!”

 

Sammy took off, the pounding of their feet as they gave chance the best thing she’d ever heard. She knew they were after her, but that didn’t stop the fear that Duncan would get caught in the middle. It didn’t take them long before they caught her.

 

One tackled her, taking her to the ground. Brush scrapped her hands and knees as she fell. She struggled, but she was no match.

 

“Fuck, girl, take it easy.”

 

“Let me go!”

 

“Where’s the kid you were with?”

 

She tried to headbutt him, but he moved. “There was no kid. It was just me.”

 

A knife pressed against her throat, and she stopped struggling.

 

“I don’t like repeating myself. There were two of you out here. He run for help? They won’t be back in time to save you, but I promise to make it quick if you tell me where he went.”

 

Sammy leaned up slightly, letting the blade dug into the skin of her neck. “Do it then.”

 

When he didn’t move, she laughed. “Don’t make threats you don’t plan on following through with. You lose all your credibility.”

 

“I’ll take you apart, piece by piece. You’ll tell me where the kid went. Parents’ll pay a pretty penny for kids.”

 

“Go ahead, because I’m not telling you a thing.”

 

His body crashed down on her, the knife jerking to the side but burying in her shoulder. She cried out and tried to shove him off, but he weighed too much. He didn’t move, and the blade buried in his back told her why.

 

#

 

Nate barely remembered killing the five raiders. It all blurred together, a haze that he’d experienced too often, one he gave into willingly.

 

He’d spotted Duncan running, crying. The kid said raiders had Sammy, and he’d tracked them.

 

What he’d found was Sammy pinned beneath a man who threatened to carve her up, and Nate lost it.

 

He remembered bullets. Blood and cuts covered his knuckles. The dead bodies told him all he needed to know about what he’d done.

 

He gripped the arm of the dead raider who still pinned Sammy. As soon as it was off her, she scooted away, from the dead raiders, from Nate, from all of it.

 

He pushed away the rage, the part of him that wanted to find more people to pay for this, to make suffer, to quell that dark part inside of him that people always saw peeking from his eyes.

 

The hilt of a knife stuck out of Sammy’s shoulder, and he nodded at it. “You’re gonna need some first aid.”

 

“You killed them.”

 

Nate crouched down in front of her. “Yeah, I did. Come on, let’s get you patched up.” He reached his hand out but she refused to take it.

 

At least she followed him back to The Red Rocket, even if it was in uneasy silence.

 

He pointed at a chair in the main living space. “Sit.”

 

Sammy eyed it like it might bite her.

 

“Go on. That knife needs to come out and then you’ll need a stimpack.”

 

She slid into the seat, on the edge as if still not trusting. Not that he could blame her. What he’d done to those raiders wasn’t pretty, wasn’t the sort of thing she should see. Of course, had she not been there, he’d have done worse. Nate’s temper was almost legendary, but he hadn’t lost control like that in a while.

 

Her shirt was ruined, soaked through with blood, both hers and the raiders. He grabbed one of his from his dresser.

 

Nate pulled a chair up beside hers and inspected the wound. “You afraid of me now?”

 

“I’ve always been afraid of you.”

 

“You know why that’s so damned funny? You’re probably the only person who doesn’t need to be afraid of me.”

 

“Why am I so special?”

 

“Fuck if I know. Alright, this is gonna hurt. Take a deep breath and you scream if you need to.” He gripped the hand and jerked the blade out.

 

A whimper crawled out between her lips, pressed tight together. She’d cranked her eyelids closed, like she could block out everything.

 

“There we go.” He pressed a rag to the spot while he opened a stimpack and injected it into her arm. “It’s gonna start feeling a lot better in the next minute or so. You want some med-x?”

 

“I don’t like chems.”

 

He nodded but didn’t push the issue. He understood it, that some people didn’t like feeling out of control, not after a fight.

 

Nate gripped the bottom of her shirt and cocked up an eyebrow.

 

“I don’t have anything else,” she whispered.

 

“I’ve already gotten a shirt for you. You want me to turn around?”

 

She nodded, so Nate gave her his back. The bloody shirt dropped on the floor beside his foot, and he fought the urge to peek.

 

She groaned.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I can’t put this on. I’m filthy; I’ve got blood all over me.”

 

He smiled at the tone of her complaint, like it was the worst thing that had happened. “I happen to have a shower, you know. But I don’t know if I trust you in there on your own, not with the way you wave on your feet.”

 

“You can’t mean. . .”

 

“Look, either I help you or you can make do with a sponge bath. I don’t want you falling and cracking your skull open after I’ve worked so hard to keep you alive. Though, I’m pushing for the shower because I have raider blood on me, too.”

 

Her voice floated from behind him, tiny and nervous. “Shower, please.”

 

He thanked whatever Gods there were.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Sammy eyed the expanse of Nate’s back, her heart thundering. He was so big. She doubted she’d ever seen a man that large before, and every inch of skin she saw had scars. He hadn’t lived an easy life.

 

His hand reached beneath the water, testing the temperature. “There we go.”

 

He turned around, for the first time looking at her since she took her shirt off, since she stood there in nothing but a pair of panties. She held her uninjured arm across her chest to hide her breasts, and he chuckled. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get washed up.” He held her elbow, helping her into the small shower.

 

It was rudimentary, and simple, but showers were such a luxury she wouldn’t dare complain. He kept a hold of her, keeping her steady as the water poured over her. She knew he was naked, but she’d purposely avoided thinking about it.

 

“Too hot?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“You okay?”

 

She nodded.

 

“We’re back to not speaking, huh? Can’t believe I make you that nervous.”

 

“You make everyone that nervous.”

 

He reached forward to grab a cloth while still holding onto her arm. “I guess, but I haven’t given you a reason, have I?”

 

“I did watch you slaughter five raiders. I’ve still got some of their blood on me.”

 

He got the cloth wet and rubbed it against her back. “Sure, but they were going to kill you. I think that should give me a bit of leniency.”

 

Her muscles had tightened at the contact, at how imposing he was.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, voice low, almost impossible to hear beneath the water.

 

“You’re bigger than me, and a hell of a lot stronger than I am.”

 

“And naked?”

 

“I was purposely trying not to think about that.”

 

“I can tell. Hold onto the wall, please.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I need both hands and I don’t want you falling down.”

 

Sammy tried to breathe but doubted she managed it. Her hands shook as she put one against the wall.

 

“Both of them, please.”

 

“Then you’ll see. . .”

 

“A pair of breasts? I can promise I’ve seen some before. Come on, embarrassment is better than injury any day.”

 

He made it sound so simple, like she were a child being foolish. Sammy put her other arm out, grasping the wood slats that made up the wall of the shower.

 

Nate released her elbow and continued to wash her back, up over her shoulders. He never drifted too low, didn’t take the opportunity to grope her. After a few minutes, she even started to relax. This wasn’t that bad.

 

“Now turn around.”

 

And there went that ease. “I don’t think so.”

 

“You’ve got blood down your front.”

 

“I can take care of that myself.”

 

“Sure, you could, but why?” He leaned down until his lips brushed her ear. “Trust me, please?”

 

#

 

Nate held her shoulders as she turned toward him. He fought the urge to stare at her, to let every detail sink into him. Fuck, it felt like a baptism, standing under the hot water with her, like everything was being washed away.

 

He took her hands and set them on his shoulders to steady her. “I don’t like you bruised, sweetheart, so hang on, okay?”

 

Her nails bit into his shoulders, his grip tight. A little pain was more than worth it.

 

Nate took the rag and washed her throat, then the front of her shoulders. He slid the cloth over her breasts, smiling at the way she moaned softly, arching into the touch, the pretty innocence of the movement tempting. He wanted to toss the rag away and capture a nipple between his lips, to clean her with his tongue. He didn’t give a shit about the blood or grime or anything but tasting her, but claiming every inch of her.

 

But the tremble of her shoulders reminded him that he had to tread with care. If it was Cait in front of him, he could be inside her in a second. She’d love if he hoisted her up and buried deep inside. Sammy wasn’t Cait, and that sort of thing would send her running to Sanctuary, if he were lucky, and a hell of a lot further if he were honest.

 

“You are pretty,” he said, voice lowered to coax her to relax. The rag dipped below her breasts, cleaning her stomach, over her hips. Each hip bone jutted out, something that made him smile. She wasn’t that thin, but still, a sharp edge over each hip called to him. He couldn’t help it, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to each one.

 

“Why are you so nice to me?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” No girl grew up to be this sweet, this kind, unless she’d lived an easy life.

 

“No one has been nice to me. Life isn’t nice.”

 

He went back to cleaning, clearing the red stains from her thighs, her legs. He avoided dipping between her legs, because his self-control had serious limits.

 

“I can’t believe no one’s ever been nice to you. Family? Boyfriends?” He growled out the last word.

 

“I’ve never had any boyfriends, and I only had a brother. He took care of me until-“ She swallowed and looked away.

 

Yeah, he knew that look. You lost people out there, and the sorrow on her face meant it. He pressed a kiss to her belly button. “I’m sorry about your brother. Not terribly sorry about the boyfriends.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“No, no boyfriends for me, either.”

 

She laughed, pushing his shoulder.

 

“I was married, a very long time ago. She died.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

He shrugged, not sure why he kept talking, peppering kisses over her stomach, her ribs, her hips. He avoided anywhere personal, anywhere that would make her uncomfortable. “I loved her, but things were difficult.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I think she was always afraid of me. Deep down, I think she never really trusted me, was always waiting for me to hurt her. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, but she never could shake it.” He risked it and snaked his tongue out to trace her hipbone. “Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Come on, sweetheart. None of this silent shit. You laughed in that raider’s face when he had a knife at your throat. You’re not the wallflower you pretend to be. I want to hear you.”

 

“Don’t stop.”

 

He looked up and caught her gaze. “You going to let me take you to bed?”

 

“I don’t think I’m ready-”

 

“I’m not gonna try to fuck you.”

 

“You aren’t?” The edge of hurt in her voice made him chuckle.

 

He stood, then leaned down and kissed her. “Not tonight. You had a rough day, and I just want to touch you a bit. I don’t scare easy, but fuck, that raider on you scared me. I want to lay down, feel you, know you’re fine. You okay with that?”

 

She went to her toes to return the kiss, the first time she’d ever reached out for him, that she’d bridged the distance for a kiss. “Yes. Please.”

 

Fuck, that was so the right answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Sammy pulled the blanket over her, keeping it up around her throat. She’d slid in the bed naked, Nate checking the defenses. He did that often, made sure they were safe. And as she’d grown used to him, she realized, she did feel safe.

 

He walked in and closed the door behind him. He pulled off the clothing he’d put on after the shower, tossing them in the corner, then slid into the bed beside her.

 

He didn’t grab her, didn’t yank her over. He just laid beside her, the darkness sinking around them both.

 

“I haven’t slept next to someone in a long time.”

 

It reminded her of sleeping beside Jaymes, the way he’d hold her close, fingers digging into her. He’d never raped her, didn’t even see her that way. He’d forced her by his side because he didn’t trust anyone else enough to leave her much leash.

 

“Why does that scare you?”

 

Of course, he’d notice her reaction; he noticed everything.

 

“Bad memories,” she admitted.

 

“Tell me.”

 

She shook her head, but remembered he couldn’t see it in the dark. “I don’t want to. Not now, not tonight.”

 

He didn’t push the topic, just set a hand on her waist. He’d touched her in the shower, but this seemed more personal, more intimate. The warmth of his skin chased away the chill. His callouses caught her skin as he rubbed along her side, up her waist, to her ribs, then down to mid-thigh.

 

“How’d a girl get to your age and not have boyfriends?” He hooked his arm around her and pulled her closer. Not close enough they touched, but close enough that it would only take her leaning in.

 

“It was just my brother and I for a long time, so he’s always been protective. We had to move around a lot, so it just never happened.”

 

“How long ago did you lose him?”

 

She didn’t expect to answer, but the gentle rub on his calloused hand on her back caused the words to spill out. “Eight years ago. It was my fault, all of it always was. He was strong, and smart, and he could protect himself, but he spent too much time trying to protect me, instead.” The answers had truth in them, but not the whole truth, of course. She left out that her brother was still alive, for one. She took a deep breath, trying to hide the way it shuddered from her lungs. “Can we just not talk about him, please?”

 

Nate pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sure. Come on, roll over. You need a goodnights sleep.”

 

She rolled, slowly, aware of the way that even as she moved, he kept in contact with her. “We aren’t going to. . .”

 

“I told you I wasn’t going to fuck you tonight. I just want to hold you.”

 

“Do you not want to?”

 

A soft chuckle blew past her ear as he pulled her back against him. The erection she’d felt last night through layers of clothing had nothing to hide behind anymore. “This clear things up for you? Yeah, I want to. But, you had a hard day, and to be honest, so did I. I want to take my time with you, go slow, and slow ain’t in my vocabulary tonight. So, for tonight, I just want to hold you. That okay with you?”

 

She nodded, relaxing into his embrace.

 

#

 

Nate woke to Sammy’s fingers tracing his arm. They’d both rolled during the night, shifted until he laid on his back and she’d ended up on her side next to him, her head on his arm.

 

He didn’t move, didn’t give away that he’d woken. His eyelids cracked, just enough to watch her, though she wouldn’t have noticed a deathclaw running through the building with how her attention locked on where her fingertips skimmed his skin.

 

Her bottom lip was pressed between her teeth, eyes narrowed in concentration. She traced the lines of his biceps, then up to his shoulder. Each scar she found, she’d follow, almost like she asked where it had come from.

 

After his shoulder, she moved to his chest. The hesitation was taking him apart, forcing him to steady his breathing, to let her play. If it took him pretending to be asleep for her to move forward, he’d pretend to be asleep.

 

When she reached the edge of the blanket, drawn up to just above his belly button, she stopped. She went to withdraw, but he grabbed her hand.

 

Her gasp filled the space. “Sorry,” she muttered, cheeks flushing. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

 

“You said you’d had no boyfriends. Does that mean you’ve never had sex?” He rubbed his thumb along the bottom of her wrist, willing her to answer. Not that he didn’t already suspect the answer. He just needed to hear it, needed to be sure.

 

“No, I’ve never.” She refused to meet his gaze.

 

Fuck. He figured as much, but hearing her say it, he groaned. Part of him wanted to kick his own ass for his lecherous thoughts about the younger woman. Even if young, if she’d been experienced, it might not have been so bad. Of course, the other part of him didn’t give a fuck. That part wanted her, wanted to taste that sweetness, wanted to show her everything she didn’t yet know. He wanted drink in the sight of her discovering it all, of him teaching it all to her.

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

“Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know.” He took a deep breath but kept a hold of her hand. “You’re a hell of a lot younger than I am, sweetheart. I’m sure you noticed. Makes me feel a bit like a creep. Instead of being in a bed naked with you, I should be sending you off to school.”

 

She smiled. “You’re not that much older than I am.”

 

“Fuck, I feel like it. I’ve been through the wringer these last fifteen years. Makes me feel like I’m sixty, and you come walking in, twenty-five, and I should know better. I just look at you and can’t help it. You’re just, good. I’ve spent so many years in all this filth and mess and you are clean. I can’t help it.”

 

“I’m not asking you to help it, am I?”

 

“Look at me, will you?”

 

She drug her gaze to his.

 

“What were you doing when I woke up?”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to molest you. Well, I mean, I meant to, but I shouldn’t have.”

 

Damn he liked that blush on her cheeks.

 

“I didn’t ask for an apology. I asked what you were doing. Why you were doing it.”

 

“I told you I never. . .  and I was curious, but you’re intimidating when you’re awake. I woke up and you were laying there all still and quiet and I just.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to touch you.”

 

He grinned and set her hand over his belly button, right where it had been when she’d pulled it away. He then placed his hands behind his head, stretching out. “You didn’t look like you were done exploring. Go on, then. I’ll stay still.”

 

“You just want me to. . .”

 

“To do whatever you want. Go on, girl. You wanted to explore, you wanted to touch, I’m giving you permission.”


	8. Chapter 8

Sammy licked her lips, her hand pressed against the warmth of his skin. Yeah, it wasn’t the same as when he’d slept, or when she’d thought he slept. Still, he did as he’d promised. He stayed still, hands behind his head as if it were the most casual thing.

 

She slid her hand over the side of his waist, over his hip, along the edge of the blanket. Every inch of him had muscle, scars, nothing but the result of surviving years of fighting. You ended up like this or you ended up dead. Something about his scars kept her attention, the proof of the years he’d lived, proof of the things he’d suffered. Jaymes didn’t have scars because he never did his own fighting, never suffered. Nate had suffered.

 

The blanket drew a line across him, a line she didn’t know if she wanted to cross, didn’t know if he wanted her to. 

 

“I ain’t shy, sweetheart. Go ahead.” He nodded toward his waist, toward the blanket.

 

Sammy tried to shove her cowardice down. She wanted this, he was allowing it, why not? Why let this chance slip away? Why let fear rule so many things in her life?

 

The blanket slid from him as she pulled it, slow, fighting herself. Her eyes didn’t follow it, though, they held his gaze, the way one eyebrow cocked up, like daring her to continue.

 

She skirted her fingers down over the front of his hips, close enough to his cock he inhaled sharply, then groaned when she never made contact. She grinned. Powerful wasn’t something she’d ever felt, something she’d ever thought she’d feel. But here, with Nate all but begging her to keep going, she felt powerful.

 

“You’re killing me.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She pulled her fingers in to drag her nails across the tops of his thighs, noting each twitch of his muscle.

 

“You can’t play the blushing virgin and the temptress. Combination like that ain’t playing fair.”

 

“Life isn’t fair.”

 

“I know that better than most.” His voice caught, but he smiled, like he didn’t want to think that way.

 

Sammy leaned in and kissed him, wanting to wipe the sorrow from his face. The action had her leaning over him, so close to straddling him that sliding her thigh over would be all it took. Her breasts dragged against his chest, and she remembered he wasn’t the only naked one.

 

The muscles in his arms flexed, like he had to fight to stay still, like he wanted to reach out and touch her more than he’d wanted anything else.

 

Someone banged on the front door, and Sammy yanked away.

 

“I can ignore them if you can,” Nate offered.

 

“Nate, get the hell up!” MacCready followed the shout with pounding on the door again.

 

“It’s okay. I can’t monopolize all your time.”

 

“Oh, I think I’d be fine with you doing just that.”

 

She slid off the bed, but before she stood he caught her hand and pulled it to his mouth. He kissed her palm and released her.

 

#

 

Nate yanked on some jeans and a shirt, leaving his feet bare. Once Sammy had put on her own clothing, because MacCready seeing her naked might as well earn the kid a death warrant, he yelled. “Come in.”

 

MacCready busted into the front area like he’d been waiting, hand already on the handle. Nate left the bedroom, leaving Sammy to compose herself.

 

“Sammy here? I’ve been worried sick about her.”

 

“She’s fine.”

 

“Duncan came back, hysterical. The girl saved him but she never came back.”

 

Nate crossed his arms over his chest. “I said she’s fine. She took a bit of damage and I tended to her here.”

 

Sammy walked out of the room, her cheeks flushed. “Hey, MacCready.”

 

“God, girl, you scared the hell out of me.” He rushed over, arms out to wrap around her.

 

Sammy scrambled back, away from the touch, wrapping her fingers around Nate’s arm, keeping him between MacCready and herself.

 

And didn’t that make him push his chest out? She’d gone to him out of instinct, clung to him for safety.

 

“Hey there, didn’t mean to startle you. I just, I know you saved Duncan. I don’t have anything but him, and you risked yourself to save him. That means something to me. How can I repay you?”

 

“You don’t have to repay me. What kind of monster wouldn’t have done the same thing?”

 

“Basically anyone. The commonwealth isn’t exactly full of people willing to sacrifice themselves for someone elses kid. I know you got them to chase you so Duncan could get back, and if Nate hadn’t been close by, that would have been the end for you. You risked a lot for my son.”

 

Sammy leaned out from behind Nate. “It’s okay. I don’t need anything for doing that. Is Duncan okay?”

 

“He’s shaken up, and he’s worried about you. He’s beating himself up for leaving you.”

 

She smiled and leaned her head against Nate’s shoulder. “He’s a good kid.”

 

MacCready’s eyes focused on the casual touch, following it, eyebrows drawn together like the whole thing made no sense. “Yeah. Well, Duncan’s put together a whole little party for you tonight. He’s feeling terrible and wanted to do something nice. He’s not the only one, a lot of people are thankful. It’s gonna be in Sanctuary, just after sunset. You’ll come?”

 

Sammy nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.”

 

MacCready left, scurrying out like he’d walked in on something he hadn’t expected, like he’d walked in on his parents fucking.

 

“Will you come?”

 

“Where?”

 

Sammy laughed, pulling on her shoes. “To the party.”

 

“Not a good idea. I’m not really party material, if you haven’t noticed.” Nate thought back to the last party he’d tried to go to and the disaster that had been. No one had spoken to him and he’d sat in a corner by himself, drinking, until Nick insisted he go home.

 

He was in no hurry for a repeat of that.

 

“Why not? It’s my party.” She flashed a shy smile that said she was trying to flirt but had no idea if it was working. “I might need a chaperone.”

 

Nate groaned at her clumsy attempt. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.”

 

Sammy pouted, her bottom lip actually sticking out.

 

Nate laughed before leaning down and nipping at that lip. “Where are you running off to, anyway. The party isn’t until tonight. Why don’t we crawl back into bed? I liked where that was headed.”

 

Her cheeks flushed. “I think I need some time to clear my head.”

 

He pulled her against him. “I like when your mind is a bit clouded.” He kissed her, but released her. He didn’t want to rush her. “You’ll come back after the party?”

 

“Yes. Though, I still hope you’ll come.”

 

"So do I," offered, rewarded with a blush on her cheeks. 

 

Damn, she was fun. 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Sammy pulled at the hem of her dress. It fell to mid-thigh, but compared to the jeans she normally wore, it made her feel undressed. Still, MacCready had said it was to be a nice event. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass anyone or draw attention to herself by showing up in filthy rags.

 

She’d gotten the dress from Trashcan Carla, who had sold it to her for a few caps. She wished she had nice shoes, but her boots were the best she could do.

 

A spot on her knee drew her attention. She took a rag and dampened it with a can of water. Her skin turned red before it came off, meaning it was just another of many bruises.

 

Great.

 

A knock on the door had her smiling. Had Nate come? She’d been hoping, but she refused to expect it. He didn’t like crowds, didn’t like parties, and had no good reason to come.

 

Well, no reason other than she wanted him to.

 

Sammy rushed to the door and pulled it open.

 

“Hey, Doll.” Nick smiled, and didn’t seem to take offense when she took two large steps backward.

 

So, not Nate. “Hello, Nick. Is there something you needed?”

 

Nick let his gaze drift up and down her outfit, but he didn’t leer, didn’t make her feel preyed upon. “You look nice. I’m here to escort you to the party.”

 

“Why?” She knew her voice held suspicion, but he didn’t seem to take notice.

 

“Because a pretty girl shouldn’t go to a party alone. I know you’ve been spending time with Nate, but he doesn’t come to parties, so I thought I’d step in and escort you instead. Is that okay?”

 

She nodded. “Um, yeah. Thank you.”

 

Nick held out his elbow for her, like a real gentleman, and she found herself sliding her arm into the crook of his elbow. He set his hand over hers and smiled down at her. “You do look lovely, darling. I’ll keep any unsavories away from you.”

 

“You don’t need to do that.”

 

He walked in slow steps so she could easily keep up. “See, it’s really for my own safety. If Nate finds out anyone tried anything with you, he’d probably rip out a few of my circuits.”

 

“He isn’t that bad.”

 

Nick cocked up an eyebrow ridge. “Maybe not to you. I once saw him tear the arm off a deathclaw because it growled at his dog.”

 

“You’re lying.”

 

Nick grinned. “Maybe. Maybe not. Come on, let’s go.”

 

It only took twenty minutes before Sammy was completely overwhelmed. She met person after person, name after name, story after story. The only thing that kept her steady was Nick’s arm, never wavering, escorting her from group to group, waving off anyone who came too close.

 

She had to admit, there weren’t many chaperones she’d prefer. Nick was a steady presence beside her. He was no Nate, but he helped her to feel comfortable. He’d lean in and whisper to her about people, all the tales no one else would tell.

 

They pulled her in, made her feel like part of this little community. She hadn’t felt part of something in so long.

 

“You know, I remember when Deacon pretended to be a doctor. Unfortunately for him, next thing you know we had a settler shoot himself in the foot expecting Dr. Deacon to fix him up.”

 

“Did he treat him?”

 

“No. He threw up on the poor man and then passed out. Piper did first aid.”

 

Sammy laughed and leaned against Nick’s side, resting her head on his shoulder.

 

“Well, isn’t this sweet?” Nate’s voice had Sammy pulling away, but Nick didn’t release her.

 

#

 

Nate glared at Nick, who did nothing but grin as he held Sammy’s arm.

 

Fuck, he hated that synth.

 

Okay, he didn’t hate him. Hell, he was the closest thing Nate had to a friend. Still, he didn’t care for Nick’s hands on his Sammy.

 

No, she wasn’t his. But, fuck, he wanted her to be.

 

Still, he rolled his shoulder and stayed put. No need to rip the synth's arm off or anything.

 

Yet.

 

“I’m surprised you showed up,” Nick said in his old-world drawl. “Not really your sort of event.”

 

No shit. Nate pulled at the bottom of his shirt, like it would make him fit in. He wore jeans and a button up shirt, not fancy, but they had no blood on them.

 

At least, none he could see.

 

But Sammy put him to shame. She had one a green dress that button up the front and fell to the length between her knees and the areas above that which kept him up at night.

 

He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “Yeah, well, Sammy asked me to come. Figured I’d stop in, at least. You showing her around?”

 

“Well, you weren’t here. I figured she’d be more comfortable on my arm than on her own.”

 

“I’m here now. You can go ahead and let go of her.” Nate nodded at where Nick still had a firm grasp on her arm.

 

“Right. Of course. Well, doll, thank you for letting an old synth like me have the pleasure of a pretty girl on his arm all night.” Nick leaned in and kissed Sammy’s cheek before releasing her.

 

Nate couldn’t help it, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist, dragging her away from Nick and against him.

 

Nick didn’t rise to the occasion, since nothing ruffled him. He grinned wider and tipped his hat. “You both have a nice evening.”

 

Sammy elbowed him. “You’re growling.”

 

Nate jerked his gaze away from the synth. “No, I’m not.”

 

“You are honest to god growling, Nate. I didn’t know humans were capable of even making that sound. Are you jealous or something?”

 

Fuck, yes. “Of course not. Why would I be jealous?”

 

Sammy flashed him a rare smile, full of mischief. “No? Okay, well, I’m going to go let Nick finish telling me that story then.” She pulled away.

 

And Nate grabbed her arm and pulled her against him, leaning down and taking her mouth in a rough kiss. He slid a hand behind her head as he deepened the kiss, trying to claim every inch of her mouth.

 

She responded like a dream. First her breath caught, a moment of surprise, before she melting into his touch, into his kiss.

 

After a moment, he broke away. “Fine. I’m jealous. I don’t like him all over you.”

 

“Well I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Nate stuck his hands in his pockets and took a step back, giving her space. “You look nice.”

 

She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. Damn it, he loved those shy things she did.

 

“Thanks. You clean up nice yourself. Do you want a drink? I can get you one.” She nodded back toward the house where the alcohol was.”

 

“Sure. A beer?”

 

She walked backward, tripping over a rock but righting herself before turning around and rushing away.

 

#

 

Nate shook his head as he got Sammy to their place. Well, damn, it felt like their place already. That coldness that had lived there had fled the moment she walked into it.

 

Of course, she wasn’t walking anywhere right then. The girl had no idea her tolerance to alcohol and had managed to drink herself to a healthy plastered state. At the end, he’d lifted her up and over his shoulder and drug her home. They'd spent time around the others, with Nate beside her but silent. Like a shadow everyone chose to ignore. Sammy didn't ignore him, of course. She'd bump into him and gaze up and ask him question, for information, to elaborate. He felt included for a rare moment, like he wasn't a stranger on the outside of this all. 

 

“Put me down,” she groaned.

 

He shook his head and set her on her feet before stealing another kiss. “You drank too much. You were right, you needed a chaperone.”

 

“Nick would have done it.”

 

“And then I’d have to kill him, which I’d hate to do, because I like the man.”

 

Sammy reached up and laced her fingers behind his neck. She tried to hop and wrap her legs around his hips, but she stumbled.

 

Nate laughed and grabbed her waist, lifting her and then gripping her thighs. “You’re trouble when you’ve been drinking.” He carried her back to the bedroom they shared, setting her on the bed. He settled between her thighs. “I like when you’re troublesome.”

 

She leaned up and nipped at his lip, her breath more whiskey than anything else. “You taste good.”

 

“And you should go ahead and sleep this off.”

 

“I don’t want to sleep.” She hooked a leg over his hip and lifted her body so she rubbed against his hardness. “You don’t seem to want to either.”

 

“I ain’t fucking you for the first time when you’re drunk, sweetheart. I want you to remember it.”

 

“I’ll remember it, I promise.”

 

“You don’t even remember your name.” He kissed her once more before sliding off her and tucking her against his chest. “Shut your eyes and sleep it off.”

 

She sighed and scooted back more, like she couldn’t get close enough. “I like sleeping with you.”

 

“I like it, too. Now, eyes closed.”

 

She yawned, a loud and not even a little lady like sound. “I didn’t like sleeping beside people before. Jaymes would grip me so tight I’d have finger shaped bruises. Sometimes he’d wrap his fingers in my hair, tangle them there, so if I moved while he slept, he’d know.” A shudder ran through her followed by a small whimper, like the memory was still too close.

 

Nate stilled, his rage like another person in the room, everything focused on that name. Who the hell was Jaymes? What had he done? Was this why Sammy was so fucking skittish? He burned with the need to pull away and tear this Jaymes person to pieces. Instead, he took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. “Who is Jaymes?”

 

She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” She wrapped her hands around his arm, the one wrapped over her side and pressed against her stomach. “I like this, Nate. I like you.”

 

Nate kissed the top of her head and held her tighter as her breathing evened out and she drifted to sleep. But sleep didn’t come for Nate. Nothing but that name played in his head, over and over again, taunting him.

 

He’d get his answers, and he’d find this Jaymes person, and he’d fucking kill him.


	10. Chapter 10

 

Sammy groaned at the sun and squinted against it. She’d drank far too much the night before and was paying the price for it this morning. 

 

When she’d gone to get out of bed, Nate had pulled her against him for a kiss before releasing her. It had been sweet, like the mindless thing people in love do.

 

Not that she’d know a thing about that.

 

“Am I on Duncan duty again?”

 

Preston smiled. “No. I think you’ve more than paid your dues after the last time. Someone else can try to reign that child in.”

 

“Oh. Okay, what do you need me to do, then?”

 

“Figured you could help with the new comers? You’re still pretty new yourself, and that might help them. We got a new batch today, just three.”

 

“Yeah. I can do that.”

 

Preston nodded and pointed toward the house across the street. “Go on in there. Deacon’s already started. He’ll let you know what to do.”

 

Sammy walked into the house, gazing around until she spotted Deacon.

 

He gave her a friendly smiled and waved her over. “Morning. I heard you’re my partner in crime for this.”

 

“We’re showing settlers around, so I’m not planning on any crime.”

 

“I never plan on it either, but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Come on, let’s make introductions. Everyone, this is Sammy. If you catch sight of a furless bear stumbling around and growling at people, that is just her boyfriend. If you think about hitting on her, remember the bear. It is not friendly.”

 

Sammy started to argue, but Deacon just spoke over her.

 

“This here is Lilly. She’s a weapons mod expert. Make sure you hook her up with MacCready. Frank goes to Piper for med training, and this here is Kent. Kent heads to Preston for a Minutemen rundown.”

 

Kent turned around, and Sammy took a step backward.

 

Kent was the man who had threatened her the other night, the man working for Jaymes.

 

#

 

Nate pulled the bag over his shoulder after packing it. Heading off to Goodneighbor was the last fucking thing he wanted to do. After spending these nights with Sammy, he couldn’t imagine sleeping on the hard floor alone for however long the trip would take him.

 

Worse, he imagined Sammy all alone.

 

He could ask Nick to check in on her.

 

A growl he didn’t intend to release escaped.

 

Or he could just rip the synth apart right then and save everyone the trouble.

 

But, whether he wanted to or not, he had to. Hancock handled the medical deliveries personally for the settlements, so Nate had to sign off on the deals. He only made the trip every few months, but it was well past time.

 

Nate made the short trip to Sanctuary, ignored the looks he got from the new people. Always new people, and they always looked at him like that.

 

He almost wondered if someone said something frightening during orientation that caused it, because it was hard to believe he simply looked that scary. Deacon pointed his way, and the new woman beside him took a step back.

 

Leave it to Deacon to cause problems.

 

“General,” Preston offered as he walked up. “Everything alright?”

 

Nate bristled beneath the comment. This was still his home. He built this place. Why did something need to be wrong for him to show up? “Yeah, fine. I’m gonna head to Goodneighbor today, wanted to check in before I left.”

 

“Understood. We’re fine here. The newest settlers are going through their paces, and we lucked out with them. Three good sets of skills. I think they’ll fit in well.”

 

“Good. Where's Sammy?”

 

“I have her working on orientation. The girl is sweet as can be, and I figured that might help counter some of Deacon’s snark. We’ve had some complaints about him.”

 

“When do we ever not have complains about him? I thought we were going to have MacCready take care of this?”

 

“We were. Turns out MacCready is even worse with people than Deacon.”

 

Nate thought about how Sammy had talked with everyone at the party, the way she’d slid into the dynamics without problems. Yeah, this job was right in her skill wheel. “Good choice. She’ll do well. Can you point me in her direction?”

 

“She took the new Minuteman recruit to show him his quarters.” Preston pointed his finger at the house up the hill.

 

Nate headed that way, ignoring people as he passed. Making connections was something he’d avoided. After Nora, after Shaun, making friends seemed painful. Why do it? It all ended, all got pulled away from you anyway, especially with him. Even with those few people he counted as friends, of sorts, they always watching him with a wariness, never really trusted him.

 

Fuck, he hated that look, the one that said they were just biding time until he went off the deep end. It was the same look people gave ghouls, like they expected them to go feral at any minute.

 

As he rounded the corner, Sammy ran into him. She bounced backward, but a grip on her arm kept her upright.

 

Her eyes jerked up to his, and she took a deep breath. “Oh, it’s you.”

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

Her smile slid off her lips. “Oh, you didn’t I, um, nothing.”

 

“Going to introduce me?” The voice belonged to a man standing behind Sammy, one with shrewd eyes Nate didn’t fucking trust.

 

“Right. This is Nate, and this is Kent. He’s, well, he’s new.” She tripped over her words, and it had Nate antsy.

 

“Nate, huh? I’ve heard your name around.” Kent crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

 

Nate said nothing, just looked the man up and down. The last of fear made him lift his lip in a sneer. Fine, he hated the fear, but it said someone was on the up and up. A lack of fear? It meant this asshole was up to something, something he didn’t like.

 

Nate dismissed the man. Preston could deal with this. He pulled Sammy away, pleased that she came easily, like she’d rather be with Nate than anyone else.

 

“Everything alright?”

 

“Yeah. Fine. I just, well, I’ve gotta run an errand. I’ll be gone a week, maybe two?”

 

Her eyes went wide. “You’re leaving me?”

 

He grinned at the phrasing. “I’m not leaving you, sweetheart. I’ve just got to go to Goodneighbor. You’ll be safe here. Hell, you can keep staying at Red Rocket and I can even have Nick stay with you. I guess. If he keeps his metal mitts to himself.”

 

Sammy frowned and wrapped her arms around herself. “Could I come with you?”

 

“You wanna go traipsing across the Commonwealth with me? Look, if this place makes you nervous, I can promise you, you won’t like Goodneighbor.”  

 

“I don’t care. I just, I don’t want to stay here alone.” She grabbed his forearm, nails digging into his skin. He thought back to the way she’d said Jaymes’ name, the shudder that ran through her body. She shouldn’t be afraid of a fucking thing.

 

“Yeah, sure, sweetheart. Get your stuff together and we’ll head out.”

 

#

 

Sammy packed her things, not that she had much. The rifle Nate had given her, a few sets of clothing, some scrap. She needed to get the hell out of Sanctuary. She might even ditch Nate along the way if she needed to. Kent was too close, which meant Jaymes was too close. She couldn't tell anyone, either. For all she knew they'd sell her out the moment they knew someone was looking for her. So her only choice was to put some distance between her and those pursuing her. Maybe she could get lost in Goodneighbor, or Diamond City, or some tiny settlement along the way. She just knew she couldn't stay there.

 

Not that Kent had been an issue, yet. He'd smiled and played dumb, at first. The moment she'd shown him his room, though, he'd taken a step closer, and she'd darted for the door. Thank goodness Nate had shown up. He couldn't grab her in the middle of the day, but he proved an issue that would need to be dealt with, or escaped. 

 

“So you think running is going to do shit?” Kent stood by her door.

 

“You want to tangle with Nate? Feel free, but I think he’s above your paygrade.”

 

“Yeah, he’s not gonna be able to protect you every second. I’ll get my chance, and before you know it, you’ll be right back under Jaymes’ thumb.”

 

Sammy held the gun, lifting an eyebrow to dare Kent to try her as she walked up to the door. “Move.”

 

He took a step to the side, hands lifted. “Go on, then. But don’t get used to it. You’re already owned.”

 

Sammy shoved her shoulder against him as she passed. No one would own her again. She'd die before she went back. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sammy frowned as they walked up to the Diamond City. The trip had been easy, since Nate had used a vertibird from the Railroad. She’d asked why they couldn’t go straight to Goodneighbor, but he said he had business in Diamond City first. They’d walk the distance between the two, according to Nate.

 

“First time here?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve never been the sort of person they’d let in.” She cast him a sidelong glance. “And come to think of it, you don’t seem like the type, either. You sure they’re gonna open that big gate for us?”

 

“Oh, you just watch.” Nate hit the button on the intercom. “Hey, it’s Nate. Open up.”

 

The gears groaned as the huge door lifted immediately, like even it didn’t want to stand in his way. Somehow, that didn’t surprise her. She imagined doors everywhere opened for him just so they didn’t risk him getting annoyed.

 

“You something special?”

 

He set a hand on the small of her back, the way he did so often, and smiled. “Something like that.”

 

He showed her the town, walking around, hand still on her lower back, guiding her. She had to admit, she liked it. She liked the casual touches, the way he kept her close. It made her feel valued, important, protected.

 

Jaymes had kept her close, but always with an iron grip. If he lost her, he’d lose his business. He wasn’t about to lose that, so he kept her nearby. It hadn’t felt safe, it had made her feel trapped. But, Nate’s touch wasn’t the same, and she surprised herself by how much she enjoyed it.

 

“You alright?” He noticed everything, every tiny tense when she became uneasy.

 

Sammy nodded, pushing aside the train of thought. “Yeah. Just tired, I guess. Big city.”

 

“Look, I’ll take you over to the Inn while I take care of the trading I need to do. You can sit, have a drink.” Nate held the door open, an old-world gesture that reminded her of a time long gone. “But don’t get drunk, sweetheart. I don’t want to have to carry you back again.”

 

He escorted her to the bar. “Hey, Vadim. I’ll have a beer and. . .”

 

“A Nuka cola,” she said, pouting.

 

The barkeep passed over the drinks, a smile on his face. “You have a pretty girl.”

 

“Oh, I’m not-“

 

Nate interrupted her. “Yeah, she is pretty. Thanks.”

 

Sammy turned a glare on Nate. “I’m not yours.”

 

He set his hands on the bar, on either side of her, caging her in, and leaned in close. “You sure about that? Seems to me you’ve been sleeping in my bed, kissing on me. Seems like you’re mine.” He brushed his lips against hers. “I think you want to be mine.”

 

She leaned back against the bar, giving herself more space. A little space to breath, to think. Don’t fall for it, keep your head on your shoulders. “You don’t know anything like that.”

 

Nate dwarfed her as he leaned further, stealing the space she’d gathered. He kissed her again, deeper, as if proving a point. And damnit, she moaned at the taste of him, as the skill when he slipped his tongue past her lips. He pulled back and grinned. “See? Don’t worry, though, I ain’t gonna push you. You can take all the time you want warming up. I’m not in any hurry.” He took a step back and grabbed his beer. “I’m gonna go run my errand, alright? I’ve got a tab here, get yourself something to eat, anything you want to drink. You get bored, you can head back to Home Plate. I’ll meet up with you in, maybe an hour?”

 

Nate leaned in and whispered something to Vadim, who nodded. Then Nate walked out.

 

Sammy took her drink and headed to a table.

 

“You here with Nate?” A woman sat in a chair across from her, then a third took another seat.

 

“Yes.” Sammy took a drink of her cola.

 

“He picking soft girls now, huh? That’s new.” One of the women crossed her arms and sat back. Both looked out of Sammy’s league. They wore tight clothing and armor that made her glad she wasn’t running into the out and about. They’d probably skin her alive.

 

“It’s not like that. We’re friends.”

 

“Told ya, Kit. He wouldn’t go for her type.”

 

Sammy’s back straightened. “My type?”

 

“Yeah, the scrawny, sweet, young type. You even an adult yet? He normally goes for women with a bit more substance.” The woman set her glass down on the table. “Hope you’re not planning on keeping him or anything stupid like that. Little girls like you get stupid ideas.”

 

Sammy adjusted her shirt. “No. I already said, we’re just friends.”

 

“Good. Trust me, you couldn’t handle him anyway. He’d break you in half.” She looked at her friend. “That man knows how to fuck. Might be scary as hell, but you can forget that when he gets you naked. Damn, are there any corners in here he hasn’t fucking someone in?”

 

Her friend laughed, and they spoke like Sammy wasn’t there, but she knew damned well they did it for her benefit. “Yeah, that kiss at the bar? Bullshit. Something like won’t keep Nate interested. Probably just humoring the poor girl. You deal with a man who screws like he does, and some backwoods settler won’t keep him long.”

 

They cackled together. “He’s a beast, I swear. Best night I ever had.”

 

A fist slammed into the table, and Sammy jumped. Vadim loomed over the table. “You girls causing trouble?”

 

“What? No, Vadim, of course not. We’re just talking to our friend here.”

 

Vadim narrowed his eyes, casting a glance between Sammy and the women. “You girls get out. You cause problems for Nate’s girl, you cause problems for me. Out, now.”

 

They muttered, but both left.

 

“They are fools. Do not listen to whatever they say.”

 

Sammy nodded before standing. “Right. Well, thank you, Vadim. I’m going to head back to Nate’s place.”

 

“You want I call Yefim to walk you there?”

 

“No. I can find my way just fine.”

 

Sammy left, and dropped her head as she passed the snickering women from the bar. What a fool she’d been for thinking Nate might be interested in her, for thinking there was anything there.

 

They were right, he was out of her league, and she’d just been too naive to realize it.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Nate walked into Home plate and locked the door behind him. The pacing on the top floor told him where Sammy was.

 

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s just me.” He called the words up, not wanting to startle her.

 

“Wonderful,” came from upstairs, muttered low enough he doubted he was meant to hear it.

 

Well, wasn’t she in a mood? He’d never seen her annoyed before.

 

“Brought some noodles. You hungry?”

 

She stood at the stop of the stairs, hands on her hips, face full of annoyance. It reminded him of when he’d come home and Nora would tear through the house after some slight Nate never figured out. Ah, two hundred years and women never really change, do they?

 

“No. Not really.”

 

“You have a nice time at the Inn?”

 

She came down the steps. “Fine. But, I bet you know that. Seems you’ve had plenty of fun there.”

 

If he didn’t know better, he’d say she was jealous. It made him smile. “Vadim is a friend of mine. Good man. I’ve had my share of evenings there.”

 

“Bet you have.” She needed to learn his hearing was pretty fucking good if she wanted to keep up this muttering thing.

 

“Come eat, sweetheart.”

 

Sammy poked her finger into the center of his chest. “Don’t call me sweetheart.”

 

He grabbed her hand and lifted it to his mouth. “Why not? Never bothered you before.” He pressed a kiss to her palm.

 

“You call all the girls sweetheart?”

 

So it was jealousy. He wondered what had happened. Fuck knew he had enough women he’d slept with over the years, quick one night stands to make the nights a little less lonely. Nothing that mattered, but Diamond City was tiny, really, and the same shitty people stayed there all the time. Wasn’t unheard of that she might have run into a jealous woman.

 

“No, I don’t. What’s going on, huh? You weren’t hissing then I left.”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Nate grabbed her thighs and lifted, setting her ass on the workbench. She shoved at his chest, but she couldn’t move him.

 

“Don’t be like that. Come on, talk to me.”

 

Sammy stared down at his chest, like it made it easier. “I was stupid, okay.”

 

“You’re frustrating sometimes, but you ain’t stupid, sweetheart.”

 

She shook her head. “I heard a couple women at the Inn. They made it perfectly clear I don’t measure up to your usual type, and they’re right. I’m just a stupid virgin with a crush on someone so outside my league. You could fuck anyone in that bar in seconds. Why are you here, with me?”

 

“Gotta say, I sort of like you jealous.”

 

She shoved his chest again. “I’m not jealous. I’m serious.”

 

He shook his head. Women could be fucking stupid sometimes. Men could be too, but he understood the stupidity of men better. It was his sort of stupidity. “Look. Yeah, I have a past. Never claimed I didn’t. Spent some of the last fifteen years fucking my way through the commonwealth because I didn’t have a lot else. Spent a lot of time fighting and the rest of it drinking and screwing, okay? I can’t change that.”

 

“I’m not asking you to change it.”

 

“You just want to be mad about it?”

 

“No. I just. . .”

 

He cupped her chin and forced her eyes to his. “Out with it.”

 

“I wish I felt like I was as good as those other women. They were tough, and strong, and I’m none of those things. They were sexy and totally in control, and I’m not. Looking at them, it made me wish I was more like them and less like me. I mean, damnit, Nate. You're gonna get sick of this slow thing. It can't be enough for someone like you.”

 

And there is was. Not that he hadn’t expected something like that. Sammy tip toed around space like she was terrified of being noticed. That didn’t happen when people had a lot of confidence.

 

He slid his hands up her thighs, to her waist. Her breath hitched at the touch, as he slipped his hands beneath her shirt. “If I wanted women like that, I’d be with them, don’t you think? Fact is, I fucked those women in Inns and bars and back alleyways. You know how many ever slept in my bed? Ever ate a meal with me? Not a single fucking one. You still want to try and tell me how you don’t measure up?”

 

She narrowed her eyes, like she was judging if he was telling the truth. “Really?”

 

“Really, sweetheart. So you want to maybe put away your claws and let me kiss you?”

 

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He liked her aggressive, liked when she stopped second guessing herself. Yeah, her shy thing was fucking turn on, too. Maybe that was the point? He liked it all.

 

Nate gripped the bottom of her shirt and pulled back. “This okay?”

 

She nodded, tongue tracing her lips. He groaned and kissed her before pulling her shirt off. Fuck, he’d had her naked but she still took her breath away.

 

“I’m too old to do this standing up,” he grumbled and lifted her, carrying her to the bed.

 

He sat on the bed, his back to the wall, and arranged her between his legs, her back to his chest. He pressed his lips to her neck. “You doing okay, sweetheart?”

 

She nodded, and he nipped her neck.

 

“Words. Use ‘em.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good. You change your mind, you just say the word and I stop. We clear?”

 

“Yeah. Okay. Are we going to. . .”

 

“No. Not tonight.” He brought his hands up to her chest, cupping her breasts and brushing his thumbs over the nipples. “Just want to enjoy your body a bit tonight.”

 

She arched back against him, and he savored the weight of her, the feeling of a body against his, the warmth. He drug one hand down her stomach to the edge of her pants. “Can I?”

 

She nodded, then responded with a quick, “yeah,” like she’d remembered.

 

“Good girl.” He kissed over her shoulder as his fingers flicked the button open, then pulled down the zipper. It made enough room for him to slide his hand down the front of her pants, and into her panties.

 

He’d wanted to strip her down, get her naked and spread out beneath him, but the demand to go slow chanted in his head. Had to take it slow, and he’d bet she’d feel more comfortable like this.

 

Her legs fell open at the first touch against her slit. Her pants, thankfully, weren’t tight giving him some room to maneuver. He ran his finger along her slit, from the bottom, avoiding her clit, keeping the touch gentle. “Fuck, you’re soft.”

 

Did she even hear him? Fuck, he didn’t know. Her hips had started to thrust forward, tiny movements driven my instinct, for a want of something she’d never had. His other hand toyed with her nipples.

 

He gathered her wetness on two of his fingers and touched her clit. She gasped, sitting up and snatching her thighs closed.

 

Nate chuckled and pulled her back against him. “Relax, honey. You want me to stop, or were you just surprised?”

 

She took a deep breath. “Just surprised. Don’t stop.”

 

“You ever done this before?”

 

She shook her head, a whimper when he brushed her clit again, so he forgave her for not answering out loud.

 

“That’s alright. Just relax and I’ll take care of this, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Her hand wrapped around his forearm, but she didn’t stop him, only hung on like she needed his touch.

 

He wanted to slide his fingers into her, to feel how wet and tight she was around him, but he needed to wait. Poor girl reacted to just touching her clit, he could imagine what she’d do if he tried to finger fuck her. Slow. He had time. Fuck, he liked taking his time, loved the way he had to figure her out, coax her closer.

 

Her hips resumed their twitching as he set a pace, sliding his fingers over her clit, speeding up. She moaned, dropping her head back, against his shoulder, eyes drawn shut, tight, lips parted. He kissed her ear, then bit her earlobe.

 

Her hips moved faster, thrusting farther, and fuck if he didn’t want to fill her exactly like they both wanted. Instead, he stroked her faster, his hand leaving her breast to wrap around her waist to hold her still as she squirmed.

 

She came on a gasp, head pushing further against him. He dropped his fingers to her cunt, pressing against her, but not enough to enter her. She twitched against him, and he imagined her milking his cock like that, how she’d tighten around him.

 

Fuck, it was almost enough to make him come even though he hadn’t been touched at all.

 

She laid against him, body relaxed. He kissed her cheek and pulled his hand from her pants. He brought it to his lips and licked them clean, catching the shocked look on her face.

 

“To hold me over until I get my tongue between those thighs of yours.” He winked, and her cheeks went red.

 

Yeah, forget any one night stands. He was gonna keep her a long fucking time.  


	13. Chapter 13

Sammy couldn’t look Nate in the eye the next morning. Instead, she’d run out before he’d woken up and gotten them breakfast, first taking a walk around Diamond City to try and clear her head. Nate was too much. He was too large, too aggressive, too strong, and too damned tempting. He was all those things before, but something about dealing with him after what they’d done the night before felt too intimate, like he could see too much, like she was too exposed.

 

When her legs began to tire, and she couldn’t justify her aimless walking any longer, she picked up the food and walked back into Home Plate.

 

Nate sat at the table, flipping through a comic. The sight had her smiling, the large man, covered in scars and attitude, reading a comic. It was this sweet side of him that drew in her, the one people never got close enough to see.

 

He didn’t lift his head, didn’t look her way. “Morning. You done avoiding me?”

 

She set the food down on the table and took her seat across from him. “For now, yeah.”

 

He glanced up at her without lifting his head, smiling. “Good. I missed you.”

 

“Sorry. I just needed. . .” she trailed off and took a bite.

 

“Some distance to think? It’s okay, I get it, sweetheart, I do. Sex is a funny thing. You can get so fucking close a person, and then they seemed like a stranger all of a sudden.” He turned another page, dropping his gaze back to the comic. Somehow, it was easier to deal with him when he wasn’t staring at her, when he wasn’t looming over her. Made her feel like she could breathe, like he wasn’t learning all her secrets. “You know you can trust me, right?”

 

“Yeah, I know that.” No, she didn.t

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

She smiled at the way he caught her lie. “Fine, I don’t.”

 

“You can, though. You can trust me. I know most people don’t, hell, no one does. They take one look at me and they write me off, but I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

 

“I know that. If you wanted to, you’ve had plenty of opportunities. Let’s be honest, if you wanted to hurt me I couldn’t do a thing to stop you. So, yeah, I know you won’t hurt me.” And, she did. She wasn’t afraid him hurting her, not really. She’d gotten over that. She just didn’t trust that he couldn’t be bought. Everyone could be bought, they all had their prices. She’d had hers, hadn’t she?

 

“Good.” He took a bite of food. “Tell me about Jaymes.”

 

Sammy’s spoon clattered into the bowl like the name alone would get her, like his uttering that name would call Jaymes into existence in that room. Her chest pounded, her breath fast. It drew back every fear to the forefront, forced her to deal with it in that moment.

 

Nate didn’t move, though, didn’t reach for her, didn’t say anything, didn’t even look at her. His hands remained where they were, one on the comic, the other on his spoon. If anyone looked into the room, they’d think he wasn’t paying her a speck of attention.

 

And they’d be wrong.

 

No matter his outward appearance, Sammy knew he caught every detail of her reaction. Her hand trembled, but she picked up the spoon, ignored the way it clicked against the bowl as she took another bite. Fake it until you make it, she’d always figured. Look brave and you might start acting brave eventually. “How do you know that name?”

 

“You mentioned it when you were drunk, before you fell asleep. Said he used to force you to sleep next to him, used to leave bruises or grab your hair.” The spoon in his hand groaned as it bent beneath the force of his hand. He didn’t gaze at it, didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Oh. I don’t remember saying that.”

 

“Being plastered’ll do that to a person. Look, Sammy, I told you before, I’m not gonna push you, not for sex, not to talk to me. Can’t lie, I’m going a little crazy thinking about it, wanting to tear the bastard apart, but you ain’t gotta tell me shit, not if you don’t want to. Not my place to force you to talk. I just needed you to know that you can trust me. I ain’t him, I’m not gonna do anything he did.”

 

She took a deep breath, thankful he wasn’t trying to force it from her. Somehow, offering a piece of her past on her own seemed safer, easier, than if he’d tried to rip it from her. If he’d tried to yank it away, she’d have clutched harder. When he stood there, hands open though, she felt compelled to offer.

 

She wet her lips, which had gone dry from her heavy breathing. She stared down at her food. Her words slipped out, quiet. “I was, well, his prisoner, I guess, for the last seven years. I faked my death to get away.”

 

Not that it had worked. Kent’s arrival meant Jaymes had at least suspected if he didn’t outright know she’d tricked him. She never figured it would fool him for long, just had hoped it would give her time to get far away.

 

She should have known she’d never run far enough.

 

“You want to tell me why he held you?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Alright, you don’t have to. Thank you, for tell me that much. Sharing ain’t easy, I get that. I’m here, and whenever you want to tell me the rest, I’ll listen.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

He was. . . sweet almost. His offer warmed her, made her feel protected, cherished.

 

Then his head lifted, and he pinned her with a look that stole her breath. When he’d spoken softly, when he kept his attention off her, when he gave her those small smiles, she almost forgotten the monster that lived beneath his skin. The one that had slaughtered those raiders, the one everyone else saw inside him, the one always there, on the outskirts of his mind. Here it was though, staring at her, prowling around behind his eyes, desperate to get out.

 

His voice came out hard, like his face, like his eyes. “And when you tell me where he is, I’ll gut him for you, him and anyone else who was in on it. I’ll kill ‘em all for you, then I’ll bring his fucking skin back and lay it at your feet, sweetheart.” He dropped his gaze then and went back to eating, like the conversation hadn’t taken place, like he hadn’t just offered to massacre people for her. “Eat your food. We’ve got a long walk today.”


	14. Chapter 14

“You know much about Goodneighbor?” The sign to the city and red arrow pointing toward the door let Nate know he was close, even if his many trips hadn’t burned the place in his memory.

 

“I’ve heard of it. Never came here before, always heard it wasn’t a great place. Lots of chems and thieves.”

 

He laughed as he opened the door and held it for her. “Well, that part is true. It isn’t the sort of place I’d suggest you go visit on your own. Neighborhood watch does a good job keeping the peace, tries to keep innocents from getting mowed down, but when you give people freedom, well, shit happens. Stick close, sweetheart, and you’ll be fine.”

 

She moved in closer, wrapped an arm around his, and he fucking loved it. She’d gotten more used to him during their trip, started to reach for him instead of him always being the one to cross the distance. She’d even offer kisses without hesitation, occasionally pulling him down toward her, rising up on her tip toes, to give a sweet kiss.

 

Yeah, they were going in a direction he liked.

 

Goodneighbor looked as it always had, at least since he’d first walked into the place fifteen years ago. Filthy, smelled like a urinal, and full of people he wouldn’t let into Sanctuary. Still, it was one of his favorite places. Maybe because they grew them tough there, tough enough they didn’t tend to cower when he walked into the place.

 

And the eccentric mayor had a special place in Nate’s heart. Not many ghouls in revolutionary war get-ups running around, raining justice down on assholes with a shot gun. Yeah, he liked Hancock’s sort of crazy.

 

Plus, as a bonus, the ghoul was too high most of the time to worry about being afraid.

 

“So why are we here?”

 

“Gotta meet up with the Mayor, Hancock.”

 

“Hancock?” She stilled.

 

“Yeah. You know him?” And fuck if that wasn’t a spark of jealous in his voice.

 

“No. I’ve just, I’ve heard his name around.”

 

“Yeah, well, most of the shit they say is probably true. He’s not for the faint of heart. But, he’s a good man. Does his best to keep people in line, to give people with nowhere to go, somewhere to come. Not many people in this world can say that.”

 

“How’d you meet?”

 

“A man tried to shake me down at the gate first time through town. Hancock killed him for me. I probably would have done the same, but seeing it, fuck, meant we were the same sort of people. Better than a secret handshake.”

 

Sarah lifter an eyebrow like she didn’t quite believe him. “Do you have a place here, too?”

 

“No. This isn’t the sort of town with a lot of available real estate. Not to mention, you leave for a few weeks, and you have to deal with pest extermination when you return. No, we’ll stay with Hancock in the State House. No where safer in the whole city. Except. . .”

 

“Except what?”

 

Nate opened the statehouse door and pushed on Sammy’s back to get her moving. “Don’t be surprised if Hancock tries to have sex with you. He does it to everyone.”

 

“Everyone? I doubt he tries it with you.”

 

Nate thought back to the many, many occasions when, after taking mentats, Hancock had all but crawled into his lap and ground against him like a teenager. It was hard to even be angry, since Hancock barely knew what he was doing when he was sober, let alone high. “Oh, trust me, he has.”

 

The flush on her cheeks drew a chuckle from him as he took her hand and pulled her up the stairs.

 

 

#

 

Sammy couldn’t have mistaken Hancock for anyone else. Nate was right, the clothing had him sticking out like a ghoul in Diamond City. And then there was the dangerous air to him. While Nate was dangerous and obvious, like a bear, Hancock was a mirelurk. Drew you in until you were close enough to grab. His charisma fill grin had her keeping Nate between them.

 

She’d heard his name a lot, usually in the middle of curses. Jaymes hated the man, and that could almost make Sammy like him. Anyone Jaymes hated was probably a good person.

 

But he was a chem dealer, and he could be the same exact sort of asshole Jaymes was. She’d learned her lesson about trusting people once, she didn’t need to lose another seven years by learning it again.

 

“How are you, brother?” Hancock walked up to Nate, grin across his ruined lips, hand out. They clasped hands then pulled in for a hug. “Been too long.”

 

“Too old to make the journey, John. I think I’m due some retirement time.”

 

“Stop acting like you’re eighty, asshole.” Hancock laughed and pulled back, catching sight of Sammy and casting her a grin. “And who is this pretty thing?”

 

“This is Sammy. Sammy, John Hancock.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Sunshine.” His voice was rough, like his entire throat had scarred up. Most ghouls had rough voices, but his put them to shame.

 

“Hello,” she said, keeping plenty of distance between them.

 

“She skittish?”

 

“A bit. And if you want to keep your hands, keep ‘em to yourself,” Nate said before pulling Sammy over to a couch, sitting her beside him, up against his side.

 

“Never pegged you for the jealous type.”

 

“Never had a reason to be before.”

 

“Ouch. Did our almost trysts mean nothing to you?” Hancock plopped down on the other couch, a table between them.

 

“Yeah, you grinding on me while high meant about as much to me as it meant to you.”

 

“You’re breaking my heart over here.” Hancock tossed Sammy a wink before he pulled papers from his coat and focused on Nate. “Same deal as always. Already got your shipment set aside, ready to head out. Your shit is easy, it’s mine that’s causing headaches.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Hancock leaned back in the seat and set his boots on the table, on top of the papers. “Fuck, Nate, I got a new supplier. Driving a hard bargain, asking 40 caps a piece, I can sell ‘em for 100 or so. Jet’s hard to come by these days, can’t be too picky.”

 

“Product any good?”

 

“Says it is.” Hancock pulled a thing of jet from is pocket and tossed it across.

 

Nate caught it in one hand. He set his other hand in front of the inhaler and pressed on, dispensing a dose onto his hand.

 

Sammy knew the trick. Jet wasn’t just air, it had particles in it of the drug. Suck it into your lungs and you weren’t gonna be in your right mind to figure out if it was any good. So by putting it on your hand you could get a bit of information without the high. It wasn’t exactly scientific, but worked for a quick and dirty trick for those who knew how it was put together.

 

“Looks fine. Nothing special.”

 

“He’s overcharging you,” Sammy said without thinking.

 

Nate and Hancock both turned their gaze to her, eyebrows cocked up at the same time.

 

“Oh yeah, sunshine? How do you figure?”

 

Sammy found her courage when Nate nodded at her to go on. She took Nate’s hand and pulled it over until the light from the window caught on the residue. “See those sparkly bits? I’d say he’s cutting it with dirt instead of fertilizer. Some people do that because the radiation in the dirt gives people a similar high and for a hell of a lot less cost because dirt is free. The problem is, it’ll spoil fast. Another month, if you’re lucky, and the whole shipment’ll be bad, not to mention what dirt in your lungs will do for your breathing.” She drug her tongue up his palm. Ingesting the jet would give a small high, but nothing like inhaling it. She scrunched up her face. “Ugh. They burned it. This is bargain basement quality. It’s worth ten caps a piece, maybe, and only if you’ve got enough buyers to get rid of it in the next two weeks or so.”

 

Hancock just stared at her for a minute, like he was figuring her out, like she’d just done a really strange trick and he was deciding if it was a fluke. “Can you do better?”

 

“A super mutant could do better.”

 

Hancock grinned and pointed at the chemistry station behind him. “Show me what you got, sister. You make me some passable jet, as proof you know what the fuck you’re talking about, I’ll pay you a nice little chunk for the advice you gave me.”

 

She hesitated. This was not that far off from how she’d gotten herself in trouble before, but some part of her wanted to do this. She wanted to show off for once, she wanted Nate to see she was capable of something. So, she couldn’t fight, she couldn’t shoot, she wasn’t about to take out a Deathclaw, but she was a damned fine chemist. In the end, it was Nate’s cocked eyebrow that had her nodding. “Alright.”

 

She walked over to the chemistry station, thankful when Nate and Hancock stated talking amongst themselves, leaving her to her work. She mostly tuned them out, measuring, testing the quality of ingredients. She’d done this so many times it was like second nature, but she wanted it to be right. It would be just her luck that she tried to show off her one skill and ended up screwing the thing up in front of Nate.

 

Once finished, she tossed the jet to Hancock. He dispensed a dose on his hand, checked it. “No sparkles.”

 

She grinned. “Told you.”

 

“Well, only one way to be sure.” He pressed the inhaler to his lips and sucked down the dose. His eyes slid closed as he leaned back, lost to the world as the chems swam through him.

 

Nate stood and walked to her, backing her up until she the wall kept her from going any further. “So you have some skills I don’t know about, huh?”

 

“Everyone needs some secrets.”

 

He leaned in and captured her lips in a deep kiss. “You have more of ‘em than I can count, sweetheart. I realize you were a bit distracted by all your science shit, which is sexy, by the way, but you licked my hand. You got any clue the sort of ideas that tongue gives me?”

 

Sammy pushed at his chest. “Hancock is right there.”

 

“He’s got another ten minutes before he comes out of his little jet trip. Trust me, I know, I’ve seen him take jet enough times. Deathclaws could be fucking in here and he wouldn’t notice.”

 

“A comment like that from you doesn’t make me feel very confident about sex with you, by the way.” The way he towered over her, she felt like something a deathclaw had caught.

 

He grinned, slipping a thigh between her legs, her core pressed against it. His hands gripped her hips to hold her still as he slid that leg forward, then back again. “I’m not a deathclaw.”

 

“No, you’re way more dangerous.”

 

A mumble from Hancock had Nate dropping his head against her neck, leg slipping from between her thighs.

 

“Oh, sunshine, you’re something special,” John said, voice slurring.

 

“You got shitty timing, John.”

 

“Yeah, probably, but I don’t like people fucking in my office unless I’m a part of it. Hey, Sammy, Fahrenheit is gonna show you to your guys’s room, yeah? I gotta talk a little business with Nate here.”

 

Nate’s chest rumbled against her, an unhappy sound that made her laugh. He stole one more kiss before extracting himself from her. “Go on, I’ll see you in the room soon, sweetheart.”


	15. Chapter 15

 

Nate watched Sammy take the stairs up to the top floor where the room Hancock kept for him was. He couldn’t help watching her, and everything in him wanted to follow her up there.

 

“You got it bad, don’t you?”

 

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Nate turned to Hancock when Sammy’s feet disappeared.

 

“Right.”

 

“So what did you need to talk about alone? You’re don’t usually have the patience for cloak and dagger shit.”

 

“How much do you know about Sammy?”

 

“Not a lot. She’s skittish. Has some ugly history, but I don’t know much more.”

 

Hancock fiddled with the jet, spinning it between his fingers. “I’ve got a pretty good idea where she came from.”

 

Nate frowned at the heaviness of Hancock’s voice. “Yeah?”

 

“There’s a chem dealer, goes by the name Claw. Nasty business, he is. Heard some bad shit coming out of his territory. I don’t fuck with him, but I know of him. He’s had the best product I’ve seen, by far. He’s been big for, six years? Fuck, I don’t know.”

 

Six years? Nate didn’t like where this was going. “Get to the point, John.”

 

“Look, this shit Sammy cooked up? This is the shit he’s been selling.”

 

“How can you be sure?”

 

“Trust me, a connoisseur like myself can tell. Every chemist mixes their shit differently. This? This is Claw’s product.”

 

Nate frowned and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. “You’ve gotta be wrong. Sammy is a sweet girl, she isn’t a chemist for a chem dealer.”

 

“You don’t get it. You haven’t heard of this asshole. Let’s just say that the people don’t work for him out of the kindness of their hearts. I heard he had someone up his sleeve making his product, and you’re right, she’s too sweet to survive in that world by choice. I’m gonna guess he didn’t give her a choice.”

 

“Fuck. She told me someone named Jaymes held her captive.”

 

“So the elusive Claw has a real name, then. Look, Nate, this isn’t someone you want to fuck with. He makes Sinjin look like a puppy, okay? And if your Sammy got away from him, he’s gonna come looking for her. All his eggs are in that basket, and without her, he's got shit.”

 

“Dig for me, would you? See what you can find out about him. Having a real name might help you get more. I need a location.”

 

“Sure. What are you going to do?”

 

“He’s not gonna need to come looking, because I’m gonna track his ass down.”

 

#

 

Sammy sat on the bed, legs stretched out as she waited for Nate. Even if she’d hated making chems for Jaymes, she had to admit, it felt good to be in her element. It felt good to have a skill and to show that skill off. She was so tired of looking incompetent, looking like a damsel in distress all the time. 

 

Nate walked into the room and shut the door, keeping his back to her for long enough, she frowned.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah.” He turned around and leaned his back against the door, crossing his arms. “Look, Sammy. I’m not one for bullshitting. Your skills downstairs left Hancock making some guesses about your past.”

 

She folded her legs beneath her, fear creeping into her. “What did he say?”

 

“He thinks a chem dealer who goes by Claw had you making his product. Is Jaymes this Claw asshole?”

 

Sammy stilled, deciding. The fact was, if Nate wanted to turn her over, he could do it. Admitting it wouldn’t change a thing. She nodded, dropping her gaze. “Yeah. Jaymes is Claw.”

 

“How’d you get wrapped up with him?”

 

This question proved. . . trickier to navigate.  She couldn’t mention her brother. “I met Jaymes when I was seventeen. He seemed nice, a little dangerous. I was young and stupid and desperate for someone to want me. I wanted to show off, to prove I could take care of myself. I wanted him to think I was smart and capable.”

 

“And he realized how many caps he could make off your chems?”

 

Sammy thought back to how she’d kept meeting up with him, sneaking away at night like some star-crossed lovers. Not that he’d shown any real interest in her, but she’d hoped. “Yeah. I refused to work for him when he asked, so I guess he thought snatching me was a better idea.”

 

Nate took a deep breath but didn’t move forward, and Sammy didn’t dare lift her gaze. She didn’t want to see whatever was on his face right then. Pity? Anger? Disgust?

 

“Seven fucking years? You lost seven fucking years because someone wanted to make a few caps?”

 

Sammy nodded.

 

“Look at me.”

 

She jerked her head up at the command, like she couldn’t help but follow it.

 

“He hurt you?”

 

“No. Not like you mean. He wasn’t interested in me like that. I’m fucking thankful about that.” Her stomach rolled as she considered what her life might have been if he had been. “He just realized as time went on how important I was to his operation. At first, it wasn’t terrible. As the years went on, he turned more paranoid, my little freedoms slipped away. I couldn’t live like that anymore, couldn’t be trapped anymore. I was suffocating.”

 

“So you faked your death? He know you’re out?”

 

Sammy tried to look away again, but this time Nate crossed the room.

 

He got onto the bed and took her chin in his hand, bring her gaze to his. “Tell me, Sammy. I can’t keep you safe if I don’t know what’s after you.”

 

“Yeah, he knows. He sent someone to Sanctuary.”

 

Nate’s fingers cranked down for a moment, and she whimpered. He loosened his grip right away. “Fuck, sorry. It was that asshole Kent, the minuteman, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He pulled away and started pacing. “He was right fucking there and you didn’t say shit to me. He's in my town, and I didn't know. Fuck, sweetheart, he could have grabbed you and I wouldn’t have ever known.”

 

“I didn’t know you that well, yet.”

 

“You were sleeping in my fucking bed, you knew me well enough for that. You should have told me. Fuck, I can’t breathe.”

 

“I’m sorry, Nate. I just, I was afraid. Everyone has a price, and I didn’t know if you’d turn me over if you knew. He'd pay anyone, had a lot of caps on the line for me. I didn’t know you that well, and I hadn’t been on my own very long, and I was fucking scared of everything.”

 

Nate crossed the room in two steps and was on top of her before she could suck in one breath. He slid his hand into her hair and pulled, forcing her head back and arching her neck. He leaned in kissed her throat, lavishing tiny bites along the column of her throat.

 

Sammy should be terrified, she told herself. She should be shoving, trying to get him off her, but she only moaned. Even as he raged above her, using his body and strength to hold her down, she couldn’t be afraid. She trusted him. He’d never hurt her.

 

He kissed down to her collar bone, and she moved her legs until his body fell into the cradle of her pelvis. His grip in her hair stayed tight, holding her still, while his lips drifted to her chest. He kissed her breasts through her shirt. “All I can think about it how I could have lost you. How you could have been gone and I wouldn’t have had a fucking chance in hell at finding you.”

 

His free hand gripped her hip and squeezed. “Tell me to stop.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you deserve a lot better than whats in my head right now. I can’t think, I can’t fucking breathe right now. You need to tell me to stop or I swear, I’m gonna fuck you right now and I’m not gonna go about it gentle. I can’t.”

 

She hissed when he bit down on a nipple, a sting even through the cloth. She didn’t want him to stop. She didn’t want this to end. She wanted him, needed him, however she could get him. She wanted to get swept up in the same need he had, the same insanity that drove him. “Don’t stop.”

 

He growled against her skin and stilled, shaking his head hard, like he was clearing it. “I can’t. Please, sweetheart. If I fuck you for your first time like this, I’m gonna hate myself. You deserve better. Come on, tell me to stop.” He nipped at her rib cage and she lifted her hips against him in response.

 

But then his words sunk in. He’d hate himself. She couldn't do that to him, couldn't let him do this if he'd regret it.

 

She slid her hands into his hair, gripping. “Stop.”

 

And he did. Like a fucking switch flipped, his whole body stilled, like she controlled him with that one word. His breath warmed her skin through her shirt.

 

She pulled on his hair in a small tug that moved him back up her body. “Kiss me. Slow.”

 

He followed the order brushing his lips against hers, teasing her with his lips. His muscles loosened, one by one, until all the tension floated away as he kissed her. After a moment, he pressed his forehead against hers. “You want me to go?”

 

“Why would I want that?”

 

“I wouldn’t blame you for being a bit afraid, now. I gave you good reason to be. I grabbed you, forced myself on you.”

 

“You stopped the second I told you to. I’m not afraid.”

 

The last bit of anxiety seemed to leave him on a heavy sigh before he rolled off her and laid down. He gathered her against him, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Good. I never want you to be afraid of me. Nora was afraid of me and it broke my fucking heart. I never want you to look at me like she did.”

 

Sammy wrapped her arms around his chest and curled into his warmth. For a man as scary as he was, a man who could kill anything, he sure had his own scars. She heard it in his voice every time he talked about his wife, every time he talked about her being afraid of him. She felt it when he moved slow, when he gentled himself. She saw it when he caught to looks of fear from people who should have trusted him.

 

Yeah, he had some scars. Sammy pressed a kiss to the center of his chest and promised herself, she’d help him with them. He'd done so much for her, she'd help him with this. 


	16. Chapter 16

 

Nate groaned and shifted in the bed. Sammy’s snores didn’t change, soft sounds that filled the room and made him smile. He’d grown so used to them in the short time, like the old white noise machines Nora would insist on using.

 

He adjusted the sweats he had on and glared at the erection that kept coming back. He’d already had a conversation with the bastard, told it that it wasn’t getting anything so needed to fuck off already. Every time he tried, the feeling of Sammy writhing beneath him came back and then Mr. Stupid came back with it.

 

He had to get some sleep. Tomorrow they’d head back, and he had a fucker in his settlement to kill.

 

Could he get up and leave the room? Take care of himself somewhere private? No. He wasn’t a fucking teenager who needed to find a corner to jerk off in. And he’d risk Hancock walking in on him. Not that the ghoul would mind, hell, if he was high he’d probably offer to help then creepily refuse to leave and narrate.

 

No, Nate didn’t need that shit.

 

Instead, Nate dropped his hand between his legs and grasped his cock. He kept in the groan that wanted to escape at the touch. Sammy had kept him turned on for what felt like fucking ever, ever since that first time he’d fallen on top of her in Sanctuary, and since she spent so much time with him, he hadn’t had a lot of chances to blow off the steam she created.

 

Things were getting blue, and that made it harder to keep to his gentle and slow plan. His cock had other ideas.

 

He slid his hand from base to the tip, twisting slightly over the head. Fuck, yes. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Sammy’s hand touching him, that she was there with that shy, unsure smile. That smile drove him crazy, the tiny bit of courage that moved her forward even when she wasn’t sure.

 

His arm moved as he repeated the motion in long strokes. He scooted one foot up to bend his knee, legs falling open wider as he stroked himself.

 

He pictured Sammy’s tongue, the way it had drug up his palm, in front of Hancock, like she had no idea how much that fucking turned him on. He wanted her to do that to his cock, to slide those soft lips over him. He wanted to wrap his hands in her head and thrust into her mouth while she looked up at him with that trusting look that undid him.

 

A groan escaped, but he was too gone to care, too gone to notice that Sammy’s snoring had stopped.

 

He did notice when she set her hand on his thigh, though.

 

“Fuck, sweetheart, sorry.” He muttered the words out as he yanked the blanket over him. The scratchy blanket irritated his skin and he winced. Oh, and thanks to his precum, he was sure there was a wet spot on the blanket.

 

What the fuck? Was he twelve again? What was next, wet dreams?

 

“Don’t stop.” Sammy’s voice filled the darkness, and any softening his cock did from being caught was fucking gone with those words.

 

“Jesus, I’m not gonna jack off with you here.”

 

“I want to watch. You’ve made me come, and I want to watch you.”

 

“Just an educational experience, huh?” He let out a laugh.

 

Sammy pulled her fingers in so she slid her nails against his skin, drawing up goosebumps on his skin. “Please.”

 

The please undid him. Would he ever tell her no? He fucking doubted it.

 

“Alright, sweetheart.” He kicked the blanket back off as Sammy sat up near his waist. Her eyes were locked on him, on where his hand gripped his cock again, and it revved him up more. “I was thinking about you, ya know? I can’t fucking help it, you keep me hard all the time, I swear.”

 

He moved his hand along his length, starting slow again, teasing himself for her more than him. She moved over, shifting his thighs so she could sit between them. Her hands set on the insides of his thighs eye brows pulled together in concentration.

 

She brought a hand up, then stilled. “Can I?”

 

“You don’t need to ask. Touch me where ever you want. Hell, I’m almost at the point of begging you to.”

 

She reached out, slow, and ran her thumb over the head of his cock, capturing a drop of precum.

 

Nate wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but when she brought the finger to her lips and licked his precum off, he fucking lost it.

 

“Oh, fuck.” Yeah, real elegant. Talk about a romantic. Still, it didn’t matter when he saw her finger slip from her mouth, wet and tempting.

 

She reached for him again, but this time he caught her hand and wrapped it around him, his hand on the outside.

 

“This okay?” The words were the hardest two words he’d ever shoved out but he had to make sure.

 

She nodded, and fuck him, but he wasn’t about to scold her for not actually saying yes. He used her hand, lost in the warmth of her small hand, in the softness of her skin. He pulled it along his cock, making sure to twist over the head on each stroke.

 

His hips started to lift, and he began to fuck her hand. He peeled his lips back as he came, spend landing on his stomach and their hands. Still, he used her hand until he relaxed, until his cock began to soften and the touches turned painful. Even then, he didn’t want to let her go, to stop this moment.

 

Still, he released her. She frowned, looking at the spot of come on her hand.

 

“Sorry, sweetheart. Here.” He rolled over and grabbed an old shirt off the floor. He turned back to hand it to her, but groaned when her tongue darted out to lick it off her hand. “You’re gonna kill me, you know that? I’m too fucking old to handle you. But, fuck, what a way to go.” He pulled her into a kiss, tasting him still on her tongue.

 

He broke the kiss and cleaned himself up.

 

Sammy stayed put between his thighs. Her voice came out soft and unsure. “Thank you.”

 

A frown touched his lips. “Really? That’s my line right now, I think.”

 

She shook her head. “No, see. I was starting to think I’d never get this, I’d never get to feel any of this. I spent so long with Jaymes, and when I got away, I never thought I’d be able to trust someone enough. I just, well, thank you. This means a lot to me.”

 

Nate cupped the back of her neck and pulled her forward, settling her over him, straddling him. He kissed her before setting her head on her chest. “If you think this was fun, buckle up. You’re in for a hell of ride with me, sweetheart.”


	17. Chapter 17

Sammy took a deep breath outside of Hancock’s office, telling herself to be brave. Nate had kissed her on the cheek and told her she’d be fine.

 

She’d rather him have come with her, but he’d said something about standing on her own feet and promised Hancock wasn’t like Jaymes. He also promised to stay just downstairs. But Nate trusted Hancock, Sammy could trust him, right? Hancock hadn’t done a thing so far to make her doubt him, to make her have reason to worry, but she couldn’t shake the worry that she’d misread him.

 

The memory of the night before stuck with her, as well as Nate’s promise for what was still in store, and she believed he could do exactly what he’d said. Seeing him come undone like that, it excited her. She needed to see him wanting like that again, to drive him mindless herself.  They’d fallen asleep wrapped up against each other, both needing the sleep more than anything else. Still, she knew he’d deliver on what he said, and the idea both excited and terrified her.

 

And wasn’t that her life in a nutshell? Terrifying and exciting all at once.

 

“That’s a pretty flush on your cheeks. What I’d pay to know what’s running through your head right now.” Hancock laughed as she walked into the office.

 

“Nate said you wanted to see me, Hancock.”

 

“We being formal? Call me John, sunshine. Come on and relax, I’m not about to bite.”

 

“You seem like the sort who would.”

 

“Normally, sure, but even I’m careful with Nate. He bites a hell of a lot harder than I do.” Hancock flopped down on one of the couches and pointed to the other.

 

Sammy took her seat, though her back stayed stiff. She couldn’t relax, not the way he did.

 

Hancock reminded her of a cat, she supposed. He lounged, stretching out, doing what he wanted and only enjoying it more when people hated it.

 

“Look, I get you got an ugly past with chems. I can respect that. But, Sammy, you got a hell of a skill. You ever think about getting back in to the game?”

 

“To be entirely honest, getting out of that life almost killed me. Why would I go back?”

 

“Because I saw your face while you worked. You like the work, you just hate the employer, and for good fucking reason. I want you to think about working for me.” He must have caught the flash of fear because he lifted his hand to settle her. “I ain’t gonna force you; I’m not that type. But I can tell you I’m a good employer; I watch out for my own, and if you wanted to try it, you could quit anytime.”

 

“I couldn’t live here. This town isn’t my sort of place and Nate. . .”

 

“You wouldn’t have to. I hear you’re staying with Nate? He’s got a good set up and we already have trade routes set up. You could cook the chems from there, no problem. I’d have boys pick ‘em up from you and deal with distribution. You’d just want to head up here with Nate every few months for a chat.” He leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees. “Jaymes is a fucking monster, but I’m not. I’ve heard stories about him, the shit he’s done. I would have solved the problem a long time ago if I knew where the asshole stayed, but he’s flighty. You want your life back? You want to move on? This is a good fucking way to do it, sister. Not only do you screw his business up, at least until Nate guts him, but you build yourself your own life. More caps than you’d know what to do with, freedom, power, anything you wanted. No better what of fucking him than living a good life. Don’t let him steal away your chance to make the future whatever you want.”

 

Those things sounded. . . good. Too good to be true. Could she really go back to her old life?

 

But it wasn’t her old life, not really. If Hancock was right, if he wasn’t lying, it sounded good. She could what she loved, used her skills, and still have her own life. “Can I think about it?”

 

“You really don’t get this, do you?”

 

Sammy frowned. “Get what?”

 

“You’re still thinking like someone who is owned. You have the power Sammy, you’ve got a skill I’ve never seen and I’ve seen a lot. That means you call the shots. Can you think about it? Fuck, you could stumble in here three years from now and I’d still offer you anything. You have something to bargain with, don’t forget that. Have some faith in what you can do, and take as long as you need.” He pulled a handful of caps and set them on the table. “Consider this gratitude for your help yesterday with the jet.”

 

She gathered them and tucked them into her pocket. “Thanks.”

 

“Sure. Another question. You got any idea where Jaymes is? The bastard is a sneaky fuck and I haven’t been able to pin him down.”

 

“No. He moves around a lot. He’s really paranoid, always freaks out about security, kept me blindfolded when we changed locations so I don’t even know where they are. The one I escaped from, well, I can tell you where it was but he won’t ever use it again. He’s too smart for that. It won’t help you find him.”

 

Hancock nodded. “Yeah, I figured as much.”

 

She nodded and stood, assuming the conversation was over.

 

“You’re good for Nate,” he said like the topic hadn’t changed, his voice as conversational as ever.

 

“I don’t know about that.”

 

“You are. I’ve known him a long time, seen some of the shit in his head he doesn’t like to share, and I can see you’re good for him. He isn’t what people think. I mean, he is. He’s a vicious fucker when he wants to be, but he’s more than that. He’s lost a lot of shit. No one turns out like him by accident, doesn’t happen on a whim, it happens when the world keeps screwing you. Eventually you learn to snap back, and Nate has a fucking bite on him. You two make sense, you know that?” Hancock nodded, like everything had been decided, before popping a mentat in his mouth. “Yeah, a lot of fucking sense. Go on then. You need any help with your Jaymes situation, or anything else, you come tell me, yeah? You’ve got some allies in your life now, don’t forget that.”

 

The offer of allies, the idea she wasn't completely alone, she wanted to grasp it and hang on. She'd felt adrift for so long, just trying to survive. Her brother had looked out for her until he couldn't anymore, until her own stupidity had doomed them both. Hancock offering her support, offering her resources and reminding her that she had people to call on, it meant everything to her. 

 

Thinking about her brother, Sammy sighed. Please let him be okay.

 

#

 

“How’d it go?” Nate leaned against the wall outside the Statehouse as Sammy emerged.

 

“Good. He offered me a job.”

 

Yeah, Nate knew. Hancock had run it by him first, and not just because he didn’t want to risk pissing Nate off. He’d been worried even an offer would bother Sammy, like it might drag her backward. But Hancock was right, it was a good choice. It would give Sammy something of her own, something to be proud of.

 

And there was a selfish part of Nate that wanted this because he wanted her to set down roots that included him and his life. Hancock and Goodneighbor were his world, and he wanted her connected to that world. He wanted her entangled in it so she wouldn’t want to leave it, or him.

 

“And? What did you say?”

 

“I said I’d think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready, yet. But, it was a good offer, and he seems. . . nice?”

 

“He’s not nice, but he is fair, and I’d trust him and that says a lot. You ready to get going?”

 

“Do we have to get on the vertibird again?” She groaned the question, followed by a large sigh.

 

“Yes, we do. I want to get back to Sanctuary fast. I’ve got business there that needs attending.”

 

Her lips tilted down. “Kent?”

 

Nate lifted his lip into a snarl as he imagined that asshole in his settlement, walking around, waiting to snatch Sammy when no one was looking. He couldn’t get back there fast enough. “Oh, yeah. I’m planning on dealing with Kent.”


	18. Chapter 18

 

Nate told Sammy to wait at Red Rocket with Nick. He didn’t need her seeing what would happen when he got his hands on Kent. She’d seen what happened with the raiders, no way to avoid that, but that had been different. They’d been active participants in a fight. Kent wasn’t going to be an active anything, especially after Nate got through with him.

 

MacCready walked beside him, his best bet when dealing with dirty work. MacCready didn’t mind rolling around in some filth, his morals at least as loose as Nate’s own. Nick would have preached patience, which was exactly why the synth had been sent to keep an eye on Sammy instead.

 

“Thanks for your help,” Nate offered as they walked through Sanctuary. “Been a while since we’ve done something together.”

 

MacCready laughed. “Yeah, boss, well we only get together when there’s blood and mayhem afoot. Guess we should be glad it doesn’t happen too often. And you shove your thank you, Sammy is family here. This ass- jerk thinks he can walk into our place and take her? Forget thanking me, I’m just glad I get to help show him the error of his ways.” And that’s why he’d picked the kid.

 

Well, he wasn’t a kid anymore, was he? He’d grown into his own over the last fifteen years, but he could be as vicious as Nate needed him to be. The benefit was, he had a clearer head. Nate threw himself into his rage, especially where Sammy was concerned. He’d rather tear the man apart than ask him any questions, but they needed to do this smart.

 

MacCready had a good head on his shoulders, and he could hold his temper.

 

Nate had already asked Preston to take care of placing Kent on guard duty on the outskirts of town. He didn’t need any casualties or the risk of stray shots. Kent would be armed, because everyone was armed. No way to avoid that without risking him bolting.

 

A gun wasn’t gonna save the asshole, though.

 

Kent appeared in the line of trees, leaning against one, staring at Nate and MacCready. He didn't move, probably judging reactions.

 

“Smile, Nate. I know it’s not a strong skill of yours, but if you spook him, he might run and you’re not exactly built like a sprinter.” MacCready spoke the words through a forced smiled, then elbowed Nate and laughed like they were telling a story.

 

Nate smiled, but the flash across Kent’s face said it didn’t fool him. Alright, so it was probably a snarl. Kent turned and bolted.

 

MacCready yanked his rifle off his back and dropped to one knee. He lined up a shot and squeezed the trigger.

 

And the fucker dropped, clutching his leg.

 

“Nice shot.”

 

“You point, I shoot. That was the deal, right?” MacCready flashed a smile but kept the rifle up as they approached the downed man. “Unless you want another, I suggest you stay still.”

 

“Hands where I can see ‘em.” Nate kicked the pistol away from where it had fallen from the man’s grasp.

 

“You fucking shot my leg.”

 

“I know. Amazing shot, right? I aim to please.” MacCready joked, but the rifle didn’t so much as waver as he kept it pointing at him.

 

The man rolled over to sitting, hands grasped around the wound. Looked like bullet had gone straight through. Not that it mattered, the man wasn’t living through this shit anyway. “She ain’t worth the trouble you’re bringing down on yourself.”

 

“You want to give me your real name?”

 

“It’s Kent. No reason to give a fake fucking name, you people didn’t know who you had. You know now? If you do, you’ll send her the fuck back.”

 

“I don’t think so. She’s going exactly nowhere.”

 

“That’s where you’re wrong, you stupid fuckers. If you knew anything about Claw, you’d know he’ll burn your pathetic settlement to the ground to get her. He’ll throw everything he has at you. Or, you can smarten up and just send her back. He’ll pay you a hell of a lot and I’m sure you can find better pussy somewhere else.”

 

Nate lifted his pistol and unloaded a shot in the Kent’s arm. He spoke despite Kent’s screams. “Watch what you say. I don’t have great impulse control and a bit of a problem with rage. Every time you insult her, you get another bullet.”

 

“You’re insane, you know that?”

 

MacCready laughed. “Ah, buddy, you’ve got no clue. You want to talk about Claw to us? That man’s small change compared to Nate, here. I know, I know. A few years past and people start forgetting, but you’re dealing with the man who took down the Institute and crashed the Brotherhood’s airship. Trust me, your boy’s crazy is nothing compared to Nate here’s.”

 

“What do you want?” And there was the break Nate had been waiting for, the moment the asshole was ready to bargain for a life he didn’t realize he’d already forfeited.

 

“Where’s Jaymes?”

 

“Fuck, I don’t know. I’m a hired gun, nothing more. You think he’d seriously let anyone outside of his inner circle know where he was?”

 

Nate crouched down in front of him. “That’s unfortunate.” He darted his hand forward and gripped the bullet wound on his thigh, digging his fingers in. “Really damned unfortunate.”

 

Kent howled, trying to yank away, but he was no match for Nate’s grip. “Fuck, stop, please. Fuck, I don’t know where he is!”

 

“You know something. You were gonna take Sammy somewhere. Means you have a way of meeting up with him.”

 

The screams turned into gasping whimpers, so Nate let up on the pressure. Couldn’t get answers if the asshole passed out.

 

Kent gasped hard, face wet with tears. “Dead drop. There’s a mailbox outside of Diamond City, and when I had her, I was supposed to leave a note there. Someone would pick it up and bring it to Jaymes.”

 

Fuck. It wasn’t enough to find Jaymes, not even close, but it was something.

 

“I told you what I know. Let me go.”

 

Nate stood and laughed, a quiet, harsh sound. “You really thought you were getting out of this shit alive? Fuck you, buddy. You came into my settlement, you planned on fucking abducting the woman I love, and now you think there’s a chance in fuck that you’re living through this? There is no scenario that ends with you walking away from shit, don’t care if you could deliver me Jaymes on a platter. I’m going to put a bullet in your brain, and then I’m going to find Jaymes and slaughter him, too.” Nate lifted his gun and unloaded a single bullet into Kent’s head.

 

A gasp from behind him had him turning to find Sammy, hand over her mouth and eyes wide.

 

Fuck.


	19. Chapter 19

 

Sammy stared at Kent’s body, the blood that pooled beneath him. She’d watched the whole thing, watched as Nate had tortured him, watched the coldness that filled Nate. It had been like a stranger, nothing but that part of him he kept hidden.

 

And heard him say he loved her. Yeah, that hadn’t escaped her notice, but that almost scared her more. She loved him, too, but who was he? Killing the raiders, that was one thing, but this was murder. This was killing someone who couldn’t even fight back.

 

He spoke, but her gaze couldn’t leave the body. “You were supposed to stay at Red Rocket. Where’s Nick?”

 

“I was worried about you. I said I had to go to the bathroom and snuck out the window.” Her words came out on a whisper, almost hidden by the breeze.

 

Nate moved into her line of sight, breaking the trance. “I couldn’t let him live, sweetheart, not after what he planned to do. I couldn’t let him go.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Do you? Because you look pretty fucking scared for someone who knew it had to happen. Are you afraid of me now?” He took a step toward her, and she leapt backward.

 

She couldn’t help it. His eyes still had that flat quality, rage still consuming him. Would it consume her too? She knew violence, but it was the ease in which he did it that startled her.

 

Nate stopped, pain crossing his face and shoving the rage away. Her jerks his gaze away from her. “Right. Of course. RJ, can you take her into Sanctuary for me?”

 

“What about,” MacCready jammed a thumb toward the body.

 

“Have Deacon put his fucking head in that dead drop, and then follow whoever collects it. Let’s send a message, and find the son of a bitch.”

 

Sammy gagged at the idea of someone removing his head.

 

MacCready walked over and wrapped an arm around her waist, taking her weight, and she couldn’t even pull away, couldn’t find it in her to be afraid of him, not when faced by such violence. “Come on, Sammy. Let’s go get you off your feet.”

 

Nate turned his back on her and took off toward Red Rocket alone.

 

 MacCready walked with her, but she didn't pay attention, couldn't. The man she'd seen there, was that her Nate? Is that what he really was? It made her think back to Jaymes, to people he had slaughtered, to the way he hadn't cared at all about any of them. 

 

“Drink this.” MacCready handed Sammy some water once they reached a room.

 

“Where are we?” Sammy realized it wasn’t her room.

 

“My place. We gave your bed away, seemed you were crashing with Nate anyway. Don’t tell Nate I brought you to my place, please.”

 

Nate’s name brought a shudder through Sammy’s body, a shudder that wouldn’t stop until her body shook and her teeth clattered.

 

“Whoa, there, okay.” MacCready sat down beside Sammy and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him. He was skinny compared to Nate, but she molded to his side anyway, seeking the warmth, the stability. “Breathe nice and slow, it’ll pass.”

 

Nate had shaken her, there was no way around it. It felt like the foundation she'd built this new life on was sinking.

 

“I’m gonna guess you aren’t used to seeing stuff like that?”

 

She shook her head.

 

MacCready ran his hand through her hair, and she imagined he did that to Duncan when he was upset. She arched into the innocent touch, seeking more.

 

“Figured. Look, I know it was ugly, but it had to happen.”

 

“He just, he was so vicious.”

 

“Yeah, he was. That’s what it takes out here, sometimes. What would you do if someone wanted to hurt Nate?”

 

“Like anyone could.”

 

“I’ve been out there with him, Sammy, it could happen. I remember when we took out the Prydwen. The man who ran that thing, Arthur Maxson, waited up some stairs with a min-gun. Nate took at least four bullets before we knew what happened. We could have lost him, easy. So, let me ask you, what would you have wanted to do to Maxson?”

 

She knew the answer, it sprung to her tongue before she could even take it back or think about it. “I’d want to kill him.”

 

“A pretty normal response. And, yeah, Nate can be scary when he gets going, but understand that he’s like that because he’s lost everything. Do you have any idea where he comes from? He doesn’t like to talk about it, so I’m not surprised you might not know.”

 

Sammy sat as MacCready told her Nate’s story, about the bombs, his family, the vault, his son. Everything he’d lost.

 

MacCready took a deep breath at the end, like it had worn him out, reliving it all. “I’m not going to say Nate is always a comfortable person to be around. There’s something about being around someone who had no issue burning things down that makes a person nervous. There is something inside of him that is dark and wild and terrifying. The thing is, you have to understand, he’d do anything to protect the people he cares about. I’ve known him a long time and he’s never hurt an innocent, never hurt a person under his protection. Even after all of that, though, he knows people are afraid of him and it kills him. He’s always wanted family, friends, I think. He’d never admit it, not to me at least, but I see him watching Duncan and I and everyone else, and I see that want on his face. Kills him when people are afraid of him because it reminds him he isn’t gonna get that.”

 

“And I just ran away from him.”

 

Sammy’s stomach rolled. After he’d done that for her, because he worried about her, she’d run from him. He’d admitted he loved her and then risked himself to keep her safe, and she let her own stupid cowardice cloud her mind and hurt him.

 

How could she have done that? Especially after all he’d said about Nora being afraid of him.

 

“Yeah. I’m gonna guess the guy is having one bad night.”

 

Sammy stood, pulling away from MacCready. She waited for him to ask her where she was going, but he only grinned.

 

“Go on, sweetheart. Go get him. Doubt he can stay mad at you for long. All you women have wily charms to sway us men.”

 

Sammy kissed his cheek as a thank you before rushing for Red Rocket.


	20. Chapter 20

 

Nate leaned his head back, against the wall, as he sat in his chair.

 

She’d run away from him.

 

Fuck, he’d known it was only a matter of time. Everyone ran away from him, eventually. He worked so damned hard to keep the people he cared about safe and he ended up losing them to himself, to fear.

 

All the times Nora had watched him like that, the times she’d flinched, they bombarded him. Now Sammy was the same. He’d tried to gentle himself, to not show her that, and she’d ended up seeing it anyway.

 

He should have known better than to try. It hurt too fucking much to try.

 

The door opened, and the soft footsteps told him who entered.

 

“You should spend the night in Sanctuary tonight.” He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t move.

 

“Can I stay here?”

 

“Not a good idea.”

 

Fuck, hadn’t they had this conversation that first night? The night she’d come running to him when she’d been scared. It was like they were trapped in a loop.

 

She came closer until she stood just in front of him. He kept his eyes closed, because he knew he’d cave the moment he saw her.

 

“Are you kicking me out?”

 

And he caved. So much for being tough. He opened his eyes and drank in the sight of her. “No, sweetheart. I’d never kick you out.”

 

Sammy reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head in a fluid motion. Any response Nate had died in his throat as he stared at her. She made short work of her bra, then reached for the clasp of her pants.

 

Nate reached out and stopped her hands. “What are you doing?”

 

“Showing you I’m not afraid of you.”

 

“You don’t have to do this to prove anything to me. Fuck, I don’t want that.”

 

Sammy tried to undo the clasp but he didn’t move. “I want to. I want you, Nate. I know you want to take things slow, but we’ve done that. I’m ready.”

 

He tried to tell his body to stop getting any ideas, but hell, his cock was already on board with any plan she had, especially with her naked from the waist up. He could lean forward and capture one of those damned tempting nipples between his lips, then scrape his teeth along it as a reprimand for Sammy tempting him. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

 

She shoved his hands off and slid her pants down, taking the underwear with them, until she stood naked in front of him. Her thighs parted as she straddled him, sitting in his lap, facing him.

 

There was something so depraved about having her in his lap, her naked while he was still fully clothed. It created a complete power imbalance that he hated to admit was working for him. Or fuck, maybe it was just her working for him, and he’d be hard and ready even if she walked in dressed like a fucking feral.

 

“I know exactly what I’m saying, and since you’re having trouble listening, I'll say it clearer. I’m asking you to fuck me.”

 

That filthy word on her lips had him groaning. He leaned in and kissed her, like he could taste it, like he could steal it away from her. “Let’s just-“

 

“-If you say go slow you’re not going to like what happens. I’m tired of going slow. You think I can’t handle you and I want you to know you’re wrong.”

 

“Didn’t seem wrong when you ran away from me.”

 

“We’re all allowed moments of messing up. I haven’t seen a lot of violence like that. It scared me, but as soon as I had a minute to settle down, I knew I wasn’t afraid of you. You’ve had every chance to hurt me but all you’ve done is taken care of me.”

 

“You’re sure about this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Nate stood, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carried her into the bedroom.

 

#

 

Sammy grinned as he held her easily, setting her down on the bed then standing to remove his own clothing. He bit her bottom lip as she watched him strip, all efficiency, eyes never leaving hers. He reminded her of a predator, prowling around before a pounce.

 

She really wanted him to pounce.

 

Sammy slid back on the bed a little and let her knees drop open. The sharp inhale he did was worth it.

 

“You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”

 

“That’s alright, you won’t burn me.” She sat forward, placing her hands on his hips and dragging her tongue up his length.

 

She was on her back in a heartbeat, his body over hers, lips taking her mouth in a deep kiss. His chest rumbled against hers.

 

He pulled away from the kiss and leaned back on his knees, her thighs spreading around him. “You’re too tempting, you know that?”

 

“I told you, I don’t want slow.”

 

“I ain’t going slow. I need prepare you, though.”

 

“Prepare me? I’m not a stew.”

 

He laughed, and it was enough for Sammy’s cheeks to heat. “You have any idea how much I love that shyness of yours? Yeah, I have to get you ready. I try to slide into you right now, you’re not going to enjoy it much. I promise, I’m not taking it slow or anything.” He pressed a hand against the inside of her thigh, gaze dropping to between her legs. She’d never been so exposed, so totally on display.

 

She fidgeted beneath his gaze.

 

His hand tightened. “Stay still,” he said, voice low and rough.

 

Sammy stilled, taking a deep breath to relax. She let her thighs fall back open.

 

“Better.” He slid two fingers against her slit. “Already wet? Fuck, I like that. You ready?”

 

Was she? With him sitting there, towering over her, she wasn’t so sure. A deep breath was enough to get her nodding. “Yeah.”

 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her knee. “Relax.” His finger pressed against her and slipped inside.

 

She arched her back, feeling full. He pulled the finger back before pressing it in again, movements slow, other hand on her hip, his thumb pressing tiny circles over her skin to soothe her.

 

“How’s that?”

 

“Weird.”

 

He laughed and pressed another kiss to her knee. “Yeah, I imagine so. It’ll get better, I promise.”

 

The thumb of the hand between her legs pressed to her clit. Her cunt tightened down around his finger at the touch. 

 

“Oh, I like that. Can’t wait for you to do that once I’m inside of you.” He slid his finger out and pressed two in.

 

She whimpered at the stretch, at the new sensation.

 

Nate kissed her hip this time. “Easy, sweetheart.” After a moment, he thrust those two fingers, crooking them to rub against different spots in her.

 

She relaxed, the touch changing. It stopped being uncomfortable and foreign, melting into something pleasant, something that made her moan. Tension began to wind in her, pulling tight at the continual, measured stroking of Nate’s fingers.

 

Her hips moved in time, trying to get him faster, deeper, more. Frustration bloomed in her, she needed. . . something. “Please,” she pleaded.

 

“Please what?”

 

“I don’t know. Something. More.”

 

Nate chuckled, that soft one that said he knew something she didn’t. “Alright, sweetheart.” He moved over her, bracing his weight above her.

 

“Are we doing this?”

 

“Yeah, we are. You ready?” He kissed her as he fitted his cock against her folds.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Nate nodded once, then pressed in.

 

It hurt. Sammy’s nails dug into his shoulders, her back aching off the bed.

 

“Breathe. Nice and slow, and don’t tense up, okay?”

 

Sammy nodded, trying to follow his direction, trying to relax. Once she did, he pressed forward again, sliding deeper.

 

“Fuck, you’re tight. Almost there. It’s gonna be a lot better in a minute, promise. Trust me, alright?”

 

Sammy nodded, sighing when he kissed her again. His hand cupped her breast, fingers closing around her nipple. It distracted her, letting him push once more, his pelvis pressing against hers, fully seated inside her.

 

“There we go. You feel so good wrapped around me, fucking amazing.”

 

His voice grounded her, and she hung onto it, wrapped herself around it. After a moment, the pressure inside her drove her to move her hips, a small thrust up that caused him to press into her more.

 

“Ah, hell, let’s do that again.” Nate pulled back and thrust back in.

 

Sammy moaned against the feeling. The discomfort was gone, replaced by something amazing, something that reached inside her and tightened around her. She chased the feeling, the same feeling she’d gotten when Nate had his hand down her pants.

 

#

 

Nate lost himself in her body, in the way she responded, craving more. Her nails dug into his ribs as she clung to him, trying to get closer.

 

Fuck, he wanted to give her everything, needed to.

 

His hips snapped forward. He knew he should slow down, he should take her easier, but fuck, he just couldn’t.

 

“Keep going,” she moaned and bit down on his earlobe, like she could see the battle on his face. “Come on, Nate, I can take it.”

 

At least he wouldn’t last long. He could make it up to her later, take his time making her come over and over again. Hell, he couldn’t wait to taste her, to have her writhing and begging against his tongue, but right then? Right then he needed to come inside her. It was some primal instinct in him, something left over from an age when passing on your genes was the only thing that mattered. He wanted to mark her, to leave something to ward off anyone else stupid enough to try and get close to her.

 

“You heard me out there, yeah? Because it’s true. I fucking love you, so much. Can’t think about anything else, don’t want anything else. I just need you.”

 

Her thighs tightened around his hips. “I love you, too.”

 

That was all it took for him to come. He pressed in, deeper than before, the telltale twitch of his cock as he emptied into her.

 

His breath came hard as he pushed his body up, off hers. What a shitty end to the night if he suffocated her. “You okay, sweetheart?”

 

She nodded. “You didn’t pull out. What if. . .”

 

He laughed and kissed her cheek, his softened cock slipping out of her, rewarding him with a disgruntled whimper from her. “I’m shooting blanks.” At her confused face, he continued. “After my wife had our son, I had a surgery. I can’t have kids.”

 

“Oh.” She tried to pull away, to close her legs and retreat.

 

He shook his head and let his weight settle on the bed, then pulled her against him. He’d found this before, she liked to run after anything new, liked to try and add distance between them. He didn’t want any distance. “Did you mean that? You love me?”

 

She wrapped her arm around his, around the one that held her against him. “I don’t know. I think maybe it’s just a crush.”

 

He pressed a kiss to her head. “Liar. You love me.”

 

She yawned and snuggled against him. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

 

“Good answer. Go to sleep, because I plan on wearing you out again tomorrow.”


	21. Chapter 21

 

Sammy wiped away the sweat that had accumulated on her brow. Farming wasn’t her favorite job, but Marcy had needed help with the crops so Sammy had agreed. It wasn’t like the settlement really needed a chemist most of the time, and no one let her watch Duncan after she’d almost been run through the last time, so this was one of the many little jobs she did to help.

 

The last two weeks with Nate had eased into a comfortable routine. They spent most of their time together, passing through the days with a routine that felt like they’d had it for years.

 

It was nice. It was the sort of thing she’d gone to bed before, beside Jaymes, and pretend she’d have one day. The life with a man who loved and adored her, one who made her smile. She never really believed she’d get it, always thought it was for people different than her, for the lucky ones.

 

The only thing missing was her brother. She wished Brent was with them, living in Sanctuary, getting the peaceful life she had.

 

Maybe, after everything with Jaymes settled down, she could go get Brent, find him and bring him back. She’d have family then, and she’d know he was safe. Every night she laid down and saw nothing but his terrified face, imagined what Jayme would do to him if he found him.

 

She hadn’t told Nate about Brent yet. It was the last lie she held, the last thing she wouldn’t give up. Why? Because there was another part of her that thought, maybe he’d found himself a good life. She didn’t want to screw that up for him, to draw him into protecting her again. He’d paid his dues for trying to keep her safe and then some.

 

She was so tired of screwing up people’s lives all because she couldn’t take care of herself.

 

She even wanted Nate to forget about Jaymes. Sure, he might send someone else, but the idea that Nate could be hurt, that he could end up paying for Sammy’s mistakes, it kept her up at night, tossing and turning until Nate would pull her against his chest, kiss her, and rumble out a command to go back to sleep.

 

Nate had done far too much already, and Sammy had screwed up too many times to involve Nate in another disaster that was all her fault.

 

But maybe, when Jaymes was gone, because she had no doubt Nate would pursue that, maybe she could find Brent.

 

#

 

Nate sat beside Nick in Sanctuary, Nick tightening the screws in his hand and Nate picking dirt from beneath his fingernails.

 

“You know, this is how we were when Sammy showed up that first night and you fell on her.”

 

“To be fair, she tripped me.”

 

“Who’d have thought it, huh? She’s fitting in nicely.”

 

“Better than I ever fit in.” The words burned a little in his throat, but hell, he was nothing if not honest.

 

Nick cast a side-long glance in his direction. “You know, sometimes I think you see what you expect to see. I think you catch a glimpse of something normal and make it everything. Yeah, people are scared of you, but there’s more than that there. You’ve got more than allies here, Nate, you’ve got friends.”

 

Nate said nothing, moving to clean the nails on his other hand.

 

“Any news from Deacon?”

 

“Yeah. Slow going, the bastards who work for Jaymes are careful. He’s having to stay pretty fucking far back to avoid being made. He’s also bleeding through stealthboys and says I owe him more.”

 

“He’ll get what we need. No one better than he is for this kind of work.”

 

They fell into another bout of silence, nothing but the scratch of Nick’s screwdriver and the groan of chairs when they shifted.

 

“Out with it,” Nate snapped.

 

“What?”

 

“You came and sat here. You’ve got something to say.”

 

Nick released a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. I’m happy for you, kid. You and Sammy are good for each other. I just, I want you to be careful. Hold on to her, okay? You know my past with Winters and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about what could have been, that I don’t wish I’d done something, anything, to save Jenny. You know your enemy in this case, and I know you’re trying your hardest to find him. Just, hold on to her. Life moves fast and it tends to like to pull the rug out of beneath you, and I’ve never seen you so content. I don’t want to see what you become if you lose that.”

 

Nate sheathed his knife as he thought about it. Loss had turned him into whatever it was that he was now. The losses he’d suffered during the war, as a soldier. The loss of Nora, the loss of Shaun, the loss of his whole world. They’d all twisted him.

 

The loss of Sammy would be the final thing, the last crack before he became whatever it was that prowled beneath him.

 

He wasn’t sure if anyone would survive that.

 

#

 

Sammy stuck her hands into the stream, trying to wash the filth from them. Later, she’d take a proper shower back at him (and she smiled at the thought of having a home, and that home being with Nate), but for now she just needed her hands clean enough she wouldn’t end up with some strange illness from the dirt.

 

“Sammy?”

 

The voice of a stranger spooked her, and she had the assault rifle Nate had given her up and pointed at the woman in a heartbeat.

 

The woman lifted her hands, eyes wide. She didn’t have the look of someone dangerous, but Sammy knew well enough to not trust that sort of thing.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m not here to hurt you. I have something for you, was paid to deliver it, that’s it. I swear.”

 

In the woman’s left hand, a bag hung.

 

“What is it?” Sammy never lowered the weapon, grateful the woman was on the other side of the stream.

 

“I don’t know.” The woman threw the bag, which hit the dirt beside Sammy’s foot. “That’s all I was paid to do. Open it, don’t, that’s up to you.” She backed away, then turned around and ran off toward Concord.

 

Sammy toed the bag, items rattling around.

 

It had to be from Jaymes. Who else would pull this shit? Anyone else who needed to find her would just send word or come. Only Jaymes couldn’t get into Sanctuary, which would leave him no other option to contact her. And what the hell would he have to say? Come back? It’ll be better? I’m sorry.

 

Fuck him.

 

She knelt down and opened it, finding a holotape and something else. She frowned as she pulled the last object out, realization dawning as she held it in her flat palm.

 

She barely felt the dirt as she ran for Red Rocket. Nate didn’t want her making that distance alone, but right then, she didn’t care, couldn’t care.

 

Inside the Red Rocket, she tore through things in the garage until she found the holotape player he kept there. She shoved the tape into the player and stabbed the play button.

 

“Sammy, it’s Brent. I’m sorry I have to contact you this way, but I don’t have any choice. I think I’ve seen Jaymes men around. I don’t have any caps, spent the last to have this delivered to you, I don’t have anything to get away with. I took a bullet in the leg so I can’t run. Please, Sammy, come help me. Meet me where Mom used to take us swimming. Please, I need you.” Brent’s plea filled the room, desperate, and the first proof that he’d escaped Jaymes when she had.

 

Her knees gave out, striking the ground hard, but she couldn’t feel it. Was it a trap? Had Jaymes found him and was trying to draw Sammy out? The tiny charm in his hand, the one their mother had given her, that he’d kept safe, worked as their all clear sign. It meant Brent didn’t know it was a trick, at least.

 

Not that that meant anything. Jaymes was smart, smart enough to keep on Brent’s trail until he reached out for her, then swoop in and grab her at the last minute.

 

But she couldn’t just let Brent die, either. She couldn’t forget she’d heard the message, not when his plea rattled around in her head. He’d suffered for her choices, another casualty in her mistakes with Jaymes, just a hostage for them to threaten to get her to cooperate. He’d had freedom, even got to live on his own, but that didn’t mean a thing. Terror was terror, and he had to have lived with the terror of knowing his life lasted only as long as she stayed useful.

 

The worst thing was. . . she couldn’t tell Nate.

 

If she told him, he’d go, without her most likely, and Brent would run. One sight of Nate and he’d run off, thinking someone else had gotten the message. And that was assuming it wasn’t a trap in the first place. If it was a trap? Sammy wouldn’t send Nate in to get slaughtered. Too many people had suffered for her, and Nate was the most important thing in her life. He’d never have to pay the price of her mistakes.

 

Which meant, she had to help her brother alone.


	22. Chapter 22

 

Nate walked into Red Rocket, plate of food on his arm. He brought dinner so he could feed her, then get her into bed as quickly as possible. It had been so long since he this sort of connection with someone, he wanted her all the time. Truth was, he’d probably never had this sort of connection.

 

He didn’t like her walking to Red Rocket alone, but he reminded himself, he’d set up turrets and patrols along the short route. She was safe, and he couldn’t smother her, couldn’t lock her away like Jaymes had done, so he decided he’d let it slide.

 

 

“Sweetheart?” He called into the space as he walked in, setting the food on the table. He peeked his head into their bedroom, in case she was sleeping.

 

No. Not in the back, not by the chemistry station.

 

Fear started to trickle in.

 

He rushed into the garage. A holotape player at on the ground. No Sammy, no signs of a struggle. He checked the supply cabinet where he kept the extra weapons and gear.

 

Two pistols and her assault rifle gone. The set of armor he’d picked up for her, a bag, some caps, water, and food, all gone. He hit play as listened to the holotape.

 

Everything went black.

 

By the time Nate came to, the garage was in shambles, nothing but metal and splinters and scrap strewn across the space.

 

By the door stood Nick and MacCready and who the fuck knew who else, all standing back and staring. How long had they been there, watching him lose his mind?

 

“You back with us?” Nick took a step forward, but seemed to think better of it. “Where’s Sammy? What’s happened?”

 

Nate sunk to the floor in a heap. “She left, and I have no fucking idea where she went.”

 

#

 

Sammy eyed Hancock, grateful he’d let her in.

 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

 

“You said you’d help me.”

 

“Yeah, I did. And I got no problem putting down assholes with you, sister, but running out on Nate is not going to do any of us any good. It’s like going into a knife fight and leaving your machete at home and bringing a spork.”

 

“I already explained this to you, he’s too recognizable.” Sammy reached into her pocket and tossed Hancock a thing of jet. “Take this and relax while we talk this out, okay.”

 

“You’re lucky you know my price.” He put the jet to his lips and inhaled. He held the breath in for a moment before releasing, then speaking. “Nate’ll kill me if I help you.”

 

“I’m going anyway. What do you think he’ll do if you let me go by myself?”

 

“Great, so I’m dead either way.”

 

Sammy smiled. “Yeah, but if you take out a few assholes in the meanwhile, that seems like a better way to go.”

 

Hancock grumbled something she was sure wasn’t nice, but leaned back on the couch. “Alright, sister, keep talking. Tell me what your plan is.”

 

“You need to understand what is happening. Jaymes didn’t get me to work for him all those years because I worried about what he’d do to me. He got me to work for him because he threatened my brother. If I didn’t do as he asked, he said he’d kill him. And that was all my fault. I got Brent caught up in that world, I made the mistake of trusting Jaymes and it cost my brother everything.”

 

Hancock waved his hand for her to keep going.

 

“At the end, I paid off one of the raiders enough to get a message out to him. If he could run, I could fake my death, and we’d both be free. The problem is, I got a message from Brent. Jaymes is sniffing around, probably wants to catch him to force me back.”

 

“So tell Nate. We’ll round a group and go grab your brother, stash him in Sanctuary.”

 

“There’s another option. This is a set up by Jaymes. He’s watching Brent and waiting for me to show.”

 

“All the more fucking reason to bring Nate.”

 

Sammy shook her head. “You’re not listening. I ruined Brent’s life and still might get him killed because of my mistakes. I won’t risk Nate. I couldn’t live with myself if I got him killed or hurt.”

 

“But you’ll risk me? Thanks, sister.” Hancock’s words slurred, and his eyebrows drew together.

 

“I’m not risking you, either.”

 

“The fuck did you do?” He went to sit up, but his hand slipped on the arm of the couch and he fell back into it.

 

“As you said, I have a damn good skill. You’ve got an equivalent of two doses of med-x in that jet. You’re not coming with me, I just needed to explain this to you so you can explain it to Nate. I couldn’t run off and have him not understand, have him not know why I was doing this. I didn’t want him thinking I was running scared or something. You’ve got to tell him I love him, okay? Make sure he knows that. With any luck I’ll be back with Brent, hell, maybe even before you can get him a message.” Sammy stood, then took a deep breath. “But I’m not stupid. I know that might not be the way this works out, so I need you to tell him thank you. He gave me something I never thought I’d have, you all did. You gave me a place to belong. That means a lot to someone who has never had that, and I can’t let any of you get hurt for me, can’t let any of you die because of what I’ve done. I met Jaymes, and I told him what I could do, and if anyone has to pay that price, it’s going to be me.”

 

Hancock’s lips moved but his eyes slid closed. Yeah, he’d be out a few hours, enough for her to get a head start. The place their mom took them swimming wasn’t too far and it was a place only she and Brent would know, meaning no one else could overhear the message and screw with this.

 

Sammy took another look at Hancock before pulling her backpack on.

 

With any luck. . .

 

 

#

 

Sammy crouched as she surveyed the spot, the small stream like a thing from her memories that came alive again. Not much had changed, really. Still just a place with irradiated water and trash.

 

Brent sat on the frame of a car, a bandage around his leg. It had been years since she’d seen him. Jaymes would bring holotapes to her, as proof he was alive, but she hadn’t actually seen him since she’d been captured. He looked older, filled out, no longer the thin twenty-year-old she’d known. A rifle hung over his back, a pack of gear on the ground by the wheel well of the car.

 

Sammy stayed put for an hour, but nothing happened. He would move, work on his weapon, stretch his legs, but nothing more. No one else came into sight and she spotted no one watching.

 

It seemed as safe a time as any to do this. In and out, fast. Get him to follow her, they’d head back to Goodneighbor. Hancock had vertibird smoke grenades to let them get back to Sanctuary fast.

 

Easy. When Brent safely back there, Nate would be angry, but he’d get over it. No one else would suffer for her mistakes.

 

Sammy slid the rifle over her back, not wanting to spook Brent. Would he even recognize her? It had been years. Her hand stayed on the pistol at her hip, though.

 

Brent spotted her and sat up. “Sam?”

 

“Yeah. I came. Get your stuff, let’s go.”

 

He stood putting his arms out. “Come here, Sam. It’s been seven years, let me at least hug you.”

 

She wanted to say no. It was in the ease he stood with, the way he put weight on the bandaged leg, the tension in his shoulders.

 

No, she was just being paranoid. “We’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got a safe place for you, for us both, but we have to keep moving.” Still, she moved closer.

 

“I lost seven years of my life for you, Sam, and you won’t even come here? Can’t even do that for me?”

 

“I traveled across the Commonwealth for you.” This time she did walk up to him and stepped into his embrace. “Alright, let’s go before Jaymes finds us.”

 

“A little late for that,” came the voice that had haunted her since she’d met him, the one that grated along her skin. “Nice work, Brent. Never figured when you told me all those years ago about your sister that you’d prove such a valuable employee.”

 

Sammy pulled out of Brent’s arms, stumbling away. “You did this? All of this? It was you?”

 

Brent crossed his arms, face transforming into something full of malice, or maybe she just really saw it for the first time. “You were a liability, Sam. You have any idea how much work it took keeping you alive? First time I saw you cook up a batch of jet, I knew you’d finally became worth something. Jaymes here paid me a lot caps for you.”

 

“You were never in danger.”

 

“Fuck, no. A holotape every few months to keep you in line and I got to relax, live my life happy, finally free of you. Figure it out, will you? No one has ever really wanted you.”

 

Sammy felt something in her head, behind her eyes, prowling. It was the same thing that lived in Nate, that groundless rage, like he’d somehow given her a spark of it. She embraced it, let it have exactly what it wanted.

 

She raised the pistol from her hip and fired one shot into her brother’s chest.

 

She hardly felt it when Jaymes’ goons tackled and disarmed her.  


	23. Chapter 23

Sammy pushed the food away.

 

Jaymes pointed his fork at her plate. “Eat.”

 

“Bite me.”

 

He cocked up an eyebrow. “Seven years and you’ve never spoken to me like that. My, my, what you learn in a few months away.”

 

“Oh, I’ve picked up a few new things.”

 

“This doesn’t have to be unpleasant. We can try to start over and make this a good arrangement. That’s what I wanted, originally. I wanted you to work for me willingly. Brent told me about you and I paid him for that information, and I wanted you to be here by choice. It wasn’t my fault you chose to be difficult and other options had to be considered.”

 

 “Difficult? You kept me terrorized, in captivity, for seven years.”

 

“Because you refused to be reasonable. I’m trying to come to some sort of middle ground.”

 

Sammy laughed at that. “Middle ground? Oh, let me guess. You kept me in line before by threatening my brother, but now he’s gone and you’re not sure where your leverage is going to come from. No leverage, no way to force me to work.”

 

“I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to kill your own brother. Never figured you had that in you.”

 

“Like I said, I learned some new things.”

 

Jaymes pushed his own food away, ending this game he was playing, of acting like they were old friends sharing a meal. “So what do you want?”

 

“Nothing. You’ve got shit I want, Jaymes. I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

 

That sparked to life the anger she’d grown used to with Jaymes. His anger was pointless, though. It was a lightening strike. Sure, it was big and loud and full of its own importance, but it rarely did any true damage. Struck one thing and then wore itself out. He got up, knocking his chair backward.

 

Sammy didn’t move as he advanced, didn’t struggle when he wrapped a hand around her throat. She only met his gaze with a steady look.

 

“You should be afraid of me. You might have gone out and found some man to fuck, and you think that suddenly makes you important, but you ought to remember who I am. I am not some farmer, I’m not a raider, I’m not a fucking minuteman. I’m someone who will tear apart everything you care about until you do as I say.”

 

“Brent’s gone; you’re trying to play a card you already lost.”

 

He tightened the grip on her throat until air no longer passed through. “What about that settlement you ran to, huh? Run by some asshole named Nate, right? That’s who you’re fucking according to Kent, at least before poor Kent got himself killed. Maybe I’ll send some boys up there and pick him up, huh? Or, hell, why not burn the whole place to the ground?” He shoved, releasing her throat but knocking her chair, and her, backward.

 

Her head slammed into the floor from the fall, but she only shook it to clear it. She pushed herself to her knees, coughing as she gasped in air. Then she laughed, a ridiculous sound when paired with her gasping, but she couldn’t help it.

 

“What are you laughing about?”

 

“You have no idea, do you? You see, before, I believed your bullshit. I thought you were all powerful, bought into this badass thing you pretend to be. Then I met Nate and I realized, you’re just a fake. You pretend to have power, but you’ve got nothing. Everything you think you have, I gave you, and I can take it all away. And the fact that you seriously think you could attack Sanctuary and do anything to Nate tells me how stupid you really are. Try it, I dare you.” The words came out and she knew they were true. Jaymes was a coward, he’d never dare attack Sanctuary head on, and if he tried, he’d be slaughtered.

 

“His death will be on your shoulders.”

 

“It all comes down to fear, you know that? I let you make me afraid for years, let it control me. I was afraid of screwing up, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of you, myself, the world. Guess what? I’m done being afraid.”

 

Jaymes leaned down, tilting his head, face full of fury. “Well, we’ll just have to see what we can do about that.”

 

#

 

Nate leapt on Hancock, taking the smaller man to the ground with ease. Dust flew up around them as they rolled.

 

“You let her leave! You should have done something, anything, but you just let her go and now she’s gone.”

 

Two people yanked Nate off, trying to hold him back. The bite of Nick’s metal fingers told him who one was, but he never took his eyes off Hancock to see the other. The people who held him didn’t matter, nothing but Hancock letting Sammy slipped away mattered.

 

The logical part of his brain knew Hancock wasn’t responsible. He’d heard enough to the story to know Sammy had drugged him, but he had no other outlet right then. He couldn’t get to Jaymes, couldn’t yell at Sammy, he was powerless and the only place to put his anger was on Hancock. Fair or not, he wanted to tear him apart. He struggled against the hold, trying to get at him.

 

And Hancock, being the best person to take on, the only of his friends to come close to understanding his anger, shrugged off his coat before taking a hit of psycho. “Let him go.”

 

“This is foolish, Hancock, even for you.” Nick’s voice held the same scolding tone it so often did.

 

“He wants a few rounds to work out some of this anger, let’s let him work it out” Hancock threw his blade on top of the coat. “But I’d like to keep my organs, so someone take any weapons, yeah?”

 

Nate struggled, not even feeling while his gun and knife were removed. The moment they let him go, he took Hancock back to the dirt.

 

They traded blows, and while Hancock was smaller, both shorter and a good hundred pounds of muscle less, he was fast and on psycho. It let him hold his own against Nate.

 

Nate took a hit to his jaw, snapping his head to the left. He responded with a fist to Hancock’s side. The ghoul groaned, then laughed, flipping them over again.

 

“This all you got? Don’t hold back, sunshine.”

 

Over and over they twisted, others yelling, avoiding the collateral damage as they slammed into anything in the way.

 

Slowly, the fury receded. The more he hurt, the more he hurt Hancock, the cleared his head got. Sheer exhaustion stole the will to keep going. Hancock laid beneath him, ruined lips pulled back to flash teeth, covered in blood. “I can keep this up as long as you can.”

 

Nate shook his head and shoved off, chest thundering. He reached a hand down to help Hancock to his feet.

 

“You two are children,” Nick muttered.

 

“You just don’t understand good old fashioned male bonding,” Deacon said, tossing an arm over Nate’s shoulder, and getting a hard elbow in the ribs for the touch. “Ouch. If you’re quite done, I’ve got news.”

 

“You found him?”

 

“Better. I not only found him, but I spotted them hauling Sammy in. She’s alive, and I know where she is. Sunshine Tidings.”

 

Everything started to flicker out. Finally, Nate had a place. He knew where he had to go. He started to walk until someone was in his way. It took a minute to realize it was Hancock.

 

Fucking always Hancock. No one else could stand against his anger the way he did.

 

“Move.”

 

“Not happening. You want another throw down, knock me around some more, fine, but you ain’t walking your ass out of here on your own.”

 

“I’m going to get Sammy. I suggest you don’t get in my way.”

 

“You both are the same fucking sort of stupid!” Hancock shoved Nate’s shoulders. “Sammy ran off alone because she didn’t realize she had friends. You’re about the do the same fucking stupid shit!”

 

“Don’t need anyone else. Just gonna tear ‘em apart and get her back.” He tried to walk around Hancock, but he moved into his path again.

 

“And what? She catches a stray bullet, if she’s lucky, or Jaymes blows the back of her head off when he realizes he’s lost, all while you’re, what? Beating people to death with their own arms? That’s the best you can come up with?”

 

“Yeah have anything better?”

 

“Yeah I do. Why don’t you sit your smartass down and remember she’s not just yours, she’s one of us now, and we don’t let shit happen to any of ours. We work out a plan, and we go in there, together. Whether or not you want to acknowledge it, we’re a fucked up and dangerous little family, but still a family. We work together, ain’t nothing that can stand against us.” Hancock rolled his shoulder, wincing at the movement.

 

Fuck. Nate scrubbed at his face “Sorry, about, well,” he waved at all the blood and wounds on his friend, “all of this.”

 

“Forget about it. I’ve gotten more banged during great nights of sex.”

 

Nate laughed, figuring only Hancock could get a laugh out of him that day. “Fine, I’ll listen, but If I don’t like your plan, I’m going by myself.”

 

“Deal, brother.”


	24. Chapter 24

Sammy took a deep breath, ignoring the way her head hurt. A week of dealing with Jaymes had giving her nothing but a headache.

 

Everyday he’d drag her to the barn with the chemistry station, locking her in all day, and each time she refused to work. She wasn’t going to make him even one more cap off her work. He’d taken her freedom, stolen her from Nate, so as far as she was concerned, he could fuck off with his wants.

 

“Morning, sweetheart.” Jaymes walked in, and Sammy ground her teeth at the pet name.

 

He’d probably seen how she responded to it, because he’d taken to calling her that often. It was like he covered the name in filth, something Nate had called her, something that meant the world to her, and Jaymes rotted it then hurled it at her.

 

“Are you ever going to get sick of this game?” Sammy laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling.

 

“You should hope not, because if I get bored of you, that’s the last day you live.”

 

“Pointless threat. You need me.”

 

“You’re useful, there is a difference. If I decide you have no usefulness to me, then there is no reason to keep you alive. I still think I can break you. If I change my mind and decide you’re a lost cause, well. . .” He shrugged, leaning against the door frame.

 

“Why are you here?” Sammy knew her voice was tired. She’d slept little, eaten little, and it all drug her down, made a battle of wits unlikely.

 

“Honestly? I find myself curious. Whether you want to admit it or not, we have a relationship of sorts. We spent seven years together, much of it side by side. You slept in my bed, shared my meals, were under my protection. I can forgive you escaping, but this whole change you’ve undergone, that intrigues me. If we’re being honest, I find myself jealous over this Nate person, like he’s stolen something that was mine and broke it.”

 

“You can’t be jealous, you’ve never had a speck of interest in me. Whatever game you’re trying to play won’t work.”

 

Jaymes laughed, crossing his arms. He was much thinner than Nate, dressed out of a need to look put together rather than Nate’s functional attempts. He and Nate couldn’t be more different. “No, I’ve never had any attraction to you. It doesn’t change that you were mine, that he has had you, and that you were returned damaged. It makes me curious about the man who is breaking my toys.”

 

Sammy swung her legs over the side of the bed so she sat up and stared at Jaymes. “You want to know about Nate? Not sure you’re going to like my answers.”

 

“I haven’t much liked anything you’ve become. You used to be quiet, efficient, never made problems. I want to know about the man who turned you into,” he waved at her, lip lifted in disgust, “this.”

 

“Where to start?” She smiled, her first real smile since Jaymes had taken her again, thinking about Nate. “He survived the day the bombs fell. Then, he blew up the Institute, and he burned the entire Brotherhood to the ground. He killed more assholes than you’ll ever meet, survived more attacks then you’ll ever suffer through, and is more of a man than you’ll ever hope to be.”

 

“You think this Nate is some hero?”

 

She shook her head. “Nope. You wouldn’t think so either if you saw what he did to Kent. No, he isn’t anything as small as a hero. He’s a force of nature, nothing less.”

 

Jaymes laughed, shaking his head like she was a foolish child lusting after some mythical figure. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and pulled her to her feet. “And let me guess, you think this Nate is going to save you? That he’s going to kill me?”

 

Sammy flashed her teeth in that joke of a smile Nate had taught her. “No. I’m going to be the one to kill you.”

 

#

 

The door to her room burst open, and Sammy jerked out of bed in surprise. Jaymes woke her up everyday, but not like this.

 

Something had changed.

 

The smile on his face made her skin crawl. “Morning, sweetheart.” Same greeting, but delivered with far too much confidence.

 

“What happened?”

 

Jaymes walked over and wrapped his finger around her arm. He drug her out of the small house they’d set up as her cell. “I think you’re going to decide to get to work today.”

 

“I already told you, I won’t do shit for you. You can’t make me work, no matter what you do.” And she knew she was right. They couldn’t risk torture, because any harm that came to her could impact her ability to do the work. If she couldn’t do the work, she wasn’t any good to them anyway. Without any leverage, they couldn’t get her cooperate.

 

“I think you’ll change your mind.”

 

Sammy tripped over a plant, but Jaymes didn’t slow, didn’t stop. He continued to yank her forward, forcing her to try and keep up or risk him dragging her through the dirt the rest of the way.

 

He shoved her into the room, releasing her arm. It caused Sammy to fall, again, her knees hitting the floor. She didn’t lift her head, only laughed, voice full of as much derision as she could manage. “Your temper gives you away, Jaymes. Throw me around all you want, I’m not doing a fucking thing for you!” She leaned up on her knees and screamed at him. “You stole my life from me and you can kill me if you want but you’re getting nothing from me.”

 

Jaymes walked over to her and knelt behind her. He slid his hand up the back of her neck, wrapping his fingers in her hair. “You are so different now. Fear would have kept you in line before, but now, that doesn’t matter to you. I don’t think torture would work on you, even if we could, and to be frank, I don’t think you’d care if I was going to kill you.” He leaned in, his lips next to her ear, brushing it as he spoke. “But I know something you do care about, something you will do as I say for.”

 

“Oh yeah? What?”

 

He used his grip in her hair to turn her head, forcing her gaze over to the left. In the corner was a body, seated in a chair, hands cuffed behind them. Blood from a gash on their head covered their face, but Sammy knew who it was. She’d never forget that face.

 

Nate.


	25. Chapter 25

 

Sammy threw her body forward to get to Nate, but Jaymes grip held strong. Her scalp stung, but it didn’t matter.

 

“I have to admit, I’m disappointed. When you talked about him, I thought he was an amazing tactician. A genius.  I mean, the man to oust the Institute? The one to kill the great Elder Maxson? The man to do those things should be a legend. Instead, I find a lumbering brute.”

 

“You couldn’t have captured him. There’s no way.”

 

“It wasn’t that difficult. The fool charged the settlement. Took out a few, but even he can’t stand against all my men. I was expecting so much more than just a pile of muscle. This is who turned you into whatever you are now? Pathetic.”

 

“If you hurt him I swear-“

 

He tugged on her hair. “-you’ll do nothing. This is called leverage, sweetheart. You behave yourself, he lives. You behave yourself, you can even spend some time with him. Ignore what I say and I’ll take a piece of him every single day.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and she cringed. “What is your answer?”

 

Sammy stared at the blood that ran down Nate’s face, the way his body rested in the chair, unconscious. There was only one answer. “I’ll make your chems.”

 

#

 

Nate groaned as he came to, the throbbing in his head reminding him of nights when he drank far more than he should have. His eyes cracked open, trying to see the room. His vision was off, however, or the room was dark. He wasn’t sure which.

 

It had been a long fucking time since he’d lost a fight, and now he remembered why he hated it.

 

The clinking of glass caught his attention, then the hiss of a fire.

 

“Sammy?” The name came out heavy. Damnit, he sounded like Hancock when he was high, words slurred and unclear.

 

“Don’t move, Nate. I think you’ve got a concussion.”

 

He smiled at her voice. Fuck, he missed that voice.

 

“Don’t smile like an idiot. You’re in trouble.”

 

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re here. How much trouble can I be in?”

 

“Quite a lot, actually.” The new voice came from a man.

 

Nate blinked his eyes, wincing as he tried to wipe them with his shoulder. Finally, he caught sight of the man, the room coming into focus.

 

Skinny, full of self-importance, dressed in a suit that would probably make Nick proud. Yeah, this asshole had Jaymes written all over him. “So I finally get to meet Jaymes, huh?”

 

“Lucky you. I assumed you wanted a meeting after the message you sent me. You remember, I’m sure, the head of Kent you left for me.”

 

“Kent deserved what he got. I have no problem killing people who need killing. I’m not a coward.”

 

“Perhaps not a coward, just a fool who came alone. What was this, some storming the castle for a princess fantasy? I told Sammy, I expected so much more after the stories I’ve heard about you. I’m so terribly disappointed in you. You take my Sammy from me, you fuck her, you break her, and then you get yourself captured?” He shook his head. “Very disappointing.”

 

Sammy turned away from her chemistry table then leaned back against it. “He needs a stimpack, Jaymes.”

 

“We all have needs. I’m not sure why his are any concern of mine.”

 

“Because dead leverage is no use to anyone. Look, you wanted this to work. You’re practical. Give him a stimpack and I’ll make you a double batch today. I won’t rest until it’s done.”

 

Jaymes walked up to Sammy, and Nate yanked at his binds. He didn’t want that asshole anywhere near her.

 

Jaymes slid a hand up her arm, then cupped the back of her neck. He angled her face up to look at his. “So you can still be reasonable? Fine. I told you I want this to work. I do not wish to fight with you at every turn, that is not good for productivity. You make the double batch. I will give him a stimpack, here, so you can see it done. Then I will have him moved to your quarters. You can see him when you’re finished here.” His other hand cupped her cheek, sliding his thumb against her bottom lip. “Don’t make me regret this, sweetheart. If either of you try anything, you’ll find my reaction unpleasant.” Jaymes leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, hand tightened behind her neck to keep her still. He moved back and chuckled. “I think I like this hard edge of yours.”

 

Nate yanked against at the cuffs but they wouldn’t budge. Sammy gave him one more look before turning her back and getting to work. Nate had no idea how much a double batch was, but she’d bought him a stimpack with it.

 

Jaymes walked up to him, pulling a stimpack from his jacket. “As you can see, negotiation works well. We all get what we want, no one loses any limbs, everyone stays happy.” Jaymes jammed the stimpack into Nate’s arm. “Well, mostly happy. Now, you’re going to wait for Sammy in her room. Behave yourself. If you’re reasonable, I can be.”

 

“I will kill you.”

 

“Well, I can see where Sammy picked up her new sense of defiance. This will be interesting, won’t it?”

 

 

#

 

Sammy’s feet drug as she went back to the house she stayed in. The sun was already starting to rise, with her having worked through the whole damned night. A single batch could take all day, so the double had required the whole night.

 

At least Jaymes had agreed to give her the morning off. It wasn’t out of the kindness of his heart, it was part of his game. He wanted to show they could work together. She’d followed her end of the bargain by doing as she had agreed, and he was trying to prove himself to being fair.

 

None of that mattered though, because fifteen hours of dealing with chems later, Sammy could hardly stand. Hell, she probably wouldn’t be standing if it wasn’t for Jaymes. Not that she mistook the gesture as kindness, he was still playing his game, trying to keep her happy enough to work, but scared enough not to refuse to work.

 

“Try and get some sleep,” he said as he held her door open.

 

Sammy held her tongue against all the remarks that popped into her head. He was testing her, and he wasn’t above tearing away her time with Nate. It was a delicate dance.

 

“You’re going to want to take your hands off her before I tear them off.” Nate was obviously not a dancer.

 

Jaymes grabbed Sammy’s arm and yanked her back against him, then pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was clinical, nothing behind it, and Sammy didn’t struggle. She stayed perfectly still, giving him nothing to use.

 

After a moment, Jaymes laughed and chuckled. “You can behave, still. Good to know.” He pulled away and locked the door behind him.

 

Sammy turned to face Nate. He sat on the bed, arms still behind him. So they weren’t removing the cuffs, probably a smart move on their part.

 

“What are you doing here, Nate?”

 

He shrugged. “Missed you. Come here.”

 

Sammy crossed the room, running her hands over his face, dried blood still on it. “What were you thinking? This was stupid, and now you’re hurt.”

 

He shushed her, leaning forward to slide his check against hers. When he pulled back, a tear from her rested on his face. “I wasn’t going to leave you here, sweetheart. You should know better than that.”

 

“Right, because this is a better option.”

 

“You going to give me a kiss? Because I think I earned it.”

 

“How exactly did you earn anything? You got yourself caught.”  Even as she said it, she slid into his lap and set her arms over his shoulders.

 

“I don’t like him touching you.”

 

“Yeah, well, neither do I. He only does it to try and keep an upper hand. Forget about that.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Let’s try this, then.” She closed the distance and brushed her lips against his, clearing the feeling of Jaymes lips. She replaced that cold, menacing touch with the warmth of Nate’s mouth, the safety of him against her.

 

Nate broke the kiss, but pressed his lips along her jawline. He continued until his lips reached her ear, and he took the earlobe between his teeth. “I’ll get you out of here. When it happens, keep your head down, sweetheart.”

 

She went to pull back, but he captured her lips in another kiss. Once broken, he jerked his head, once, to tell her no.

 

Right. She doubted they were really alone. Someone was on the other side of that door, and might be close enough to hear. “I missed you, too,” she said instead.

 

“Come on. Much as I want a better taste of you, I’m not into handcuffs, at least not on me. You need some sleep, though.”

 

Sammy helped settled him on the bed, a challenging thing given his hands bound behind his back. They ended up settling on him sitting mostly, a pillow behind his back, with her head in his lap. She doubted it was comfortable, but it kept the strain off his shoulders.

 

If Nate said he’d have her out soon, he’d have her out soon.

 

She just needed to keep them both alive until then.


	26. Chapter 26

 

Sammy rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the tension that had developed in them. Between sleeping on that mattress with Nate, trying to not aggravate his shoulder, and working such long hours, Sammy’s body screamed for a break.

 

“Are you in pain?” Jaymes set a hand on her shoulder, and she flinched, even though she told herself not to. She couldn’t help it, even his kind touches set her on edge. “Relax. I’m only trying to help. I don’t want you hurting.”

 

“Of course I’m in pain. I worked fifteen hours yesterday and am running on five hours of sleep.”

 

“I am sorry, but because of your little escape, we are dreadfully behind schedule. If we do not get product to the dealers in time, they’d find new suppliers.” He dug his fingers into the muscles of her shoulders in tiny movements, as if trying to ease the strain. “Tonight, you may stop at six, to allow you a good night’s sleep. Is that agreeable?”

 

“What would be agreeable would be for you to get out of my hair so I can finish. You’re just distracting me.”

 

His hand stilled, then he laughed and pulled away. “Quite the temper. I find you difficult to figure out. Very well. I have other things to attend to, I’ll let you stay here with just the guard. However-“

 

“-yeah, yeah, behave. If I don’t, you’ll make my life hell. I’ve heard it all before.”

 

Jaymes said nothing before walking out of the barn, leaving Sammy and the guard alone.

 

Nate was still in the room they’d slept in, though Jaymes had agreed to allow him time out of his cuffs, but only while a guard was present. Still, it was better than nothing. She could only imagine how his shoulders had to ache, though of course he wouldn’t complain.

 

The guard, wearing road leathers and a hat, pulled down over his eyes, walked forward, and Sammy took a step back. “I think you’re supposed to stay over there.” She pointed at the corner he’d come from.

 

He ignored her and walked up until he was inches away from her. He reached his hand out, and stole the jerky from her hand.

 

“Hey, that’s mine,” she said, the words feeling absurd in their situation.

 

“We packed more explosives and ammunition than the Prydwen had, but no one thinks about food. I have a fast metabolism, okay? I need snacks or I get hangry.”

 

Sammy gasped, then threw her arms around Deacon.

 

He hugged her back for a moment before pushing her off him. “You’re blowing my cover, honey. You okay?”

 

“Yeah. Nate’s-“

 

“-I know where he is. He let himself get caught.”

 

“Why the hell would he do that?”

 

“Because he’s really dangerous up close, but he is also recognizable enough that we couldn’t sneak him in. It’s hard to sneak someone his size anywhere. Hey, Sammy, it’s okay. Take a deep breath for me.”

 

It was just then she realized she wasn’t breathing. She gasped, grabbing the table to stay upright.

 

 She wasn’t totally alone. It was the first time she realized it. Even when Nate had come for her, she’d still felt alone, cut off from everything, right back where she’d been for seven years.

 

But Deacon was here. People cared about her, and they were here to help her.

 

Deacon took another bite of her jerky. “Better. Look, this is going to happen fast. Whatever happens, just keep your head down. We’re hoping to take everyone by surprise out there, no fuss, no muss, we’re off having pancakes for breakfast before you know it.”

 

“Do you think about anything other than food?”

 

“Sometimes I think about wigs.”

 

“Forget I asked.”

 

Deacon walked back to his place in the back corner before pointing a finger at her. “What did I say?”

 

“Head down. I know.”

 

“Forgive me for not trusting your judgement, but when you are literally dating an angry yao guai, you always bring the yao guai with you. The fact that you wandered off for a shady meeting and left him at home says you don’t make choices the best life choices. Now, I know my charm is hard not to notice, but try to ignore me so I don’t get caught, yeah?”

 

Sammy tried to glare, but couldn’t.

 

She wasn’t alone. She had friends. Things were going to be okay.

 

She turned back to her work.

 

#

 

“Took you long enough,” Nate snapped when Hancock walked in, wearing the same boring road leathers as all the other guards there. At least they made it easy to infiltrate. See one ghoul, you’ve seen ‘em all.

 

“Hey, it isn’t easy keeping Deacon in line. It’s like having a child around. He’s always complaining about being bored, or having to piss, or needing a snack. You think anyone would mind a little friendly fire accident?”

 

“John.”

 

“I wouldn’t kill him. Just wound him a little.”

 

“He in place?”

 

“Sure is. He’s in the barn with Sammy, Jaymes is in his cabin, and MacCready is camped out on the water tower. You ready to do this?”

 

Nate turned his back so Hancock could pick the cuffs. He rolled his shoulders, then took the rifle Hancock handed him. “Oh, yeah, I’m ready.”

 

#

 

The first explosion knocked Sammy off her feet. She fumbled for the chem she’d been working on, tucking it into the waist band on her pants.

 

“Looks like the party has officially started,” Deacon said before leaving his spot and peering out a window.

 

Shots fired outside, single ones, well placed and careful.

 

“MacCready’s not bad, but I can do better.”

 

“Why aren’t you out there, then?”

 

“Because I’m supposed to guard you. MacCready’s too attached to his stupid hat for him to blend in anywhere. Left me with this job. Now, remember? Head down.” He put his hand behind her head and pushed her back to the floor. “If you get shot, Nate’ll carve up my pretty face, and I happen to like this face. It would be a shame to have to swap it out already.”

 

Sammy shoved his leg. “Well if Nate gets hurt I’m going to be the one to carve up your pretty face, so why don’t you do something more helpful than babysit me, huh?”

 

“You have some claws, but they’re like kitten claws compared to his. I know which brahmin to bet on.”

 

“No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t call women brahmin.” She pinched his calf. “At least use that gun, huh? Peek your head out of the door and help.”

 

Deacon sighed. “You will stay here? And stay down?”

 

“Yes. I promise.”

 

“Fine. I’ll go shoot some people, but only because you asked nicely.” Deacon held his rifle in one hand as he approached the door. He shoved it open and ducked beside it, using the edge for cover.

 

He leaned out long enough to aim and take a shot before pulling back. That movement repeated twice more. On the last swing out, something struck him in the head and his body collapsed down, then didn't move.

 

Jaymes walked into the barn, pistol in one hand, bloodied bat in the other.

 

“Hello, sweetheart.”

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

Blood covered Nate. Not that he cared, other than the fact that gripping his weapons had become challenging, and occasionally the blood obscured his vision.

 

The charges they’d set around the perimeter had taken out many of the guards, and MacCready downed a number more from his position on the water tower. Deacon had bitched about that, believing he was the superior shot, but after watching the merc, he doubted Deacon could have done better.

 

It still left plenty for Hancock and Nate to play with, though. And Nate needed the outlet. After watching Jaymes kiss Sammy, after seeing her drag herself into the room after working so many hours, he needed this violence. It scoured him, scrubbing away all the fury, all the anger.

 

Hancock had his shotgun, growling out insults as he mowed down person after person, hopped up on jet and who knew what else. Nate had his rifle, though he’d tossed it over his shoulder once he got his hands on a good bat. Let the snipers handle the detail work, all he needed was rage and a blunt object.

 

“You seen Jaymes?” Hancock stood beside Nate, his lips peeled back. He could easily be mistaken for a feral, panting and covered in blood.

 

“No. He might have run.”

 

“Fucking coward. Don’t worry, we’ll track him down.”

 

Nate turned the corner, only to find Deacon on the ground, a wound on his head. He and Hancock both muttered the same curse before shoving open the door.

 

Inside, Nate felt all the rage that had slipped away returning.

 

Jaymes had a grenade in his hand, pin already pulled. That hand was cuffed to Sammy’s, and he held a pistol in his other hand. “Stay there, gentlemen.”

 

Nate paced. He couldn’t stand still, so he paced across from them, eyes on Jaymes. “Let her go.”

 

Jaymes shook the handcuffs. “I’m sorry, but that isn’t happening. As I’m sure you’ve seen, I have her secured to me. You kill me, I released the grenade and we both die.”

 

Hancock stepped forward, voice trying to stay reasonable. You knew you were fucked when Hancock was the reasonable one. “Okay, brother, what do you want?”

 

Jaymes titled his head. “Hancock? Hard to tell you irradiated freaks apart, but that is you, minus your absurd outfit, isn’t it? How did you get caught up in this?”

 

“Sunshine there is family. I hate to say it, Claw, but you fucked with the wrong people this time.”

 

Jaymes leaned in a pressed his cheek against Sammy’s. He spoke, loud enough they could all hear it. “What do you think, sweetheart? I don’t need to leave Nate alive. You’re my insurance policy out of here. Ah, but if I kill him, how would I obtain any leverage when we set up shop again somewhere else. Maybe we’ll head west, make some money out that way.”

 

Nate took a step forward but Jaymes lifted the grenade, then pointed his pistol at him.

 

“Careful, now. I’d hate to blow my property up into a million little pieces. Really, though, Sammy, look at him. He’s covered in blood and who knows what else. Do you really want that? It’s only a matter of time before he turns on you, too. He’s a feral dog, he might seem friendly but he will take your throat sooner or later. I’ve never let you get hurt, and because you’re useful, I never would. You know you’re safer with me than you are with that thing.”

 

Nate stopped pacing at that. He stared down at his hands, covered in blood and who knew what else. No wonder Nora had been afraid of him. Sammy would be, too.

 

Oh well. At long as she was safe, fear didn’t matter. He could take her fear.

 

He looked up at Sammy and put his hand out. “Trust me, sweetheart. I won’t let you get hurt.”

 

Sammy moved back, away from Nate, turned, and threw her arms around Jaymes.

 

Fuck.

 

#

 

Sammy felt the way Jaymes tensed for a moment, like he wasn’t sure how to react. Of course, she didn’t give him time to think about it before plunging the syringe she’d had in her pocket into his back.

 

Her other hand, the one cuffed to his, scrambled to wrap around his hand. She had to keep the strike lever in.

 

Jaymes jerked away, but she held on, moving both hands to the grenade. If he let go of that, it was over.

 

Nate wasted no time, he knocked all three of them down as he struggled with Jaymes’ other arm, the one with the weapon.

 

A scream, and Jaymes seized. The body went still, but Sammy kept her grip, hands shaking.

 

A hand touched her arm and she jerked away.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Nate’s voice was soft, too soft. He wrapped his hand around hers, replacing the pin in the grenade. “You can let go now.” He pulled away, like he didn’t want to crowd her, like he didn’t want to be close.

 

Fuck that nonsense.

 

Sammy threw herself over Jaymes body, knocking Nate down as she wrapped her arms around Nate.

 

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna get blood on you.”

 

“I don’t care.” She kissed him, ignoring the stickiness that covered him, the bruises on them both. None of that mattered.

 

He broke the kiss after a second, looking up at her, face unsure. “You moved away from me. . . I thought you were scared.”

 

Hancock kicked Jaymes body. “Um, what killed him? I hate to interrupt, but, there are no wounds.”

 

Sammy pointed at the syringe on the ground. “After Deacon told me you guys were here, I mixed up something special, just for him. He wanted me to cook him chems, figured I’d do as he asked.”

 

“If you ever want to work for me, let me say right now that I’d much prefer a good old fashion letter of resignation to this whole thing.” Hancock waved at Jaymes body.

 

Nate set a hand behind her head to get her looking back down at him. “So you’re saying you weren’t scared of me? You weren’t trying to get away from me?”

 

Sammy laughed, brushing her lips against his. “No, you idiot. I just needed to get close enough to inject the poison. I told him I was going to kill him, and I wasn’t about to let me beat me to it.”

 

“You know, I think you could still get his arm off and hit him with it, if you wanted.” Hancock kicked the body once more.

 

“Did no one check on me?” Deacon’s groggy voice came from the doorway, where he staggered.

 

Hancock crossed his arms. “Nate told me to ignore you.”

 

“No, I told you not to shoot him ‘on accident’. Hancock gave you a stimpack and we had other things to deal with.”

 

Deacon went on his tiptoes to look at Jaymes’ body. “Who killed him?”

 

“Sammy did,” Hancock grumbled.

 

Deacon put his hand out. “You owe me a hundred caps. Told you she’d get him first.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good for ‘em. How’d you know? I would have bet on Nate any day.”

 

“Easy. Anyone who can handle Nate at his worst is about the toughest asshole around. Now, children, get off the floor. No bloody sex today, we need to get our sniper down from the water tower or he’ll pout for days.”

 

Nate pulled Sammy down for another kiss. “You’re sure you want me? And, well, them?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. I love you, and I’ve never had a family before, never belonged anywhere. I’d wouldn’t give this up for anything.”

 

#

 

Nate sat at the fire, his arm around Sammy, her head on his shoulder. Everyone was with them, Nick, MacCready, Hancock, and Deacon. They were all well past drunk, laughing and eating and drinking.

 

“At least you all had fun. I had to sit back to pick off stragglers.” Nick flicked ash into the fire.

 

“Well, you’re not exactly subtle. There aren’t a lot of gen 2’s in fedoras walking around.” Deacon only smiled when Nick glared.

 

“I still think Nate should have beat someone with their own arm.” Hancock took a hit of jet, leaning against Deacon since, when high, Hancock suddenly loved everyone. “Would have been the story to tell forever.”

 

“I think you’re all crazy.” Sammy snuggled closer into Nate’s side. “It’s a good thing I love crazy.”

 

Nate smiled as he pulled her tighter against him, looking out at his. . . family. Not a random assortment of allies, not just people willing to lend a hand from time to time, but family. He’d spent so long sure that he’d never find this, that he’d never have this, that someone like him would never find people who would care about him, who would risk everything for him.

 

Yeah, it was a fucked-up family, but it was his, and he was never letting any of them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!! Thank you so much for all of my awesome, amazing, wonderful readers. You guys talking to me throughout the process means so much to me! There's nothing I love more than seeing comments and getting to chat with you guys!


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